Formula one, I still opine, as nothing more than hamsters running over wheels. It’s pointless, waste of time, money and talent. There are at least 10s reason why I still hate it. Go ahead and prove me wrong.
It’s not sports: Don’t call a bunny-turtle race, a sport. You give same car to all drivers, and then we’ll talk.
It’s not race: What kind of race needs one of its competitors to slowdown due to team order? It’s like Yohan Blake asking Usain Bolt to slowdown because Jamaica said so.
Crashes: I was told spectacular crash will be spectacular to watch. Even I was informed movies like Death Race is inspired by races including F1. If is true, its really sad.
It’s not exciting: Around six blokes always ahead of game, the rest always behind. I take a nap, take a shower, grab a coffee and browse back to the channel – they will be still racing in same race in same position!
It’s a pit race: By the sound of it, races are won in pit stops rather than tracks. It’s like cricket is won in dug out, not field.
Expensive: Considering you’ll only see start, finish and one glimpse per lap! Even 1$ is expensive if the deal is to sit there and yawn.
Technology: I was also told, money is being put into good use of invention automobile industry. A $500mil a year for each team from last so many years, I had expected some alien car craft! They still breakdown at signal.
Rich-men sport: How easy is it makes an entry for a team? Suppose you do, how many years you need to compete to make a single point on board?
Hype: F1 is nothing more than a ponzi scheme of sports world with blown up go-karting. People follow because it is uncool not to follow. It’s a fashion statement.
F1 geeks: They irritate me every day with specifics of turbo engines, rpms, cylinders and other part which never amused me!
Update 25/01 : Due to a lot of good friends of mine objected the wording of #3 on crashes being spectacular, I have reworded it to have less exaggeration. But content remains same. I cant believe you never heard about it. One example right away, this author explains the romance between danger and dependency of F1 revenue on it. He writes :
……No one, myself included, wants to see drivers die, but by eliminating the potential for death (as nearly as possible), the danger which led to the popularity of the sport is lost.
The remaining glamour, without the danger, is empty and superficial—glamour for glamour’s sake—an endless parade of celebrities shuffling up and down the pit lane and drivers throwing their cars into turns knowing the risks have been diminished should they get it wrong.
I still stick to all other points, unless convinced otherwise.
Perfume samplers are perhaps most annoying bunch of salesmen out there. They are like urban cowboys with a set of perfume bottles in their holster and will shoot at sight like dirty Harry. It hardly ever happened to me that I went to shopping mall and did not get ambushed by them. Its not seldom I ended up buying one of those expensive perfumes, plus came out smelling like a bouquet.
My sympathies with all those who got scammed like this, welcome to “I got tricked into buying perfume I didn’t like” club. We meet on Thursdays.
For others, I dare you to try once. Go to any mall in India and this is how whole process goes:
He will start with, if you like is “Eau de Toilette” or some other phrases you don’t even recognize. That’s your clue, if you are impressed with his knowledge on few European phrases, you are trapped. Simple psychology is, if you don’t understand what is asking, most probably you will stick with what he recommends.
Then he will ask which flavor of perfume you like, fruity, nutty or shitty. Don’t answer that – it’s a rhetorical question. He will pull one sample no matter whatever you answer. Don’t get scared, not at least – not yet.
Then, like a ninja pulls a ninjastar, he’ll pull one sampling strip. He does it so fast you will be tend to think its magic. If you must ask, go ahead and enquire if he does birthday parties.
What he does next is something amusing. He will pose like Usain Bolt, like he did after winning gold. Or maybe it is T’ai chi, you’ll never know. Anyways, He will hold paper strip in one hand and bottle in other with a appropriately calculated distance.
Then he’ll spray sample into air, more precise than sparkplug of a four-stroke engine! in slow motion. I was like – OMG splay it already!
Before it disperses into air he will wave the testing strip where he sprayed. It’s like a WOW! This is that exact moment you’ll think this guy really knows what he is doing, and perhaps he is topper in fragrance sampling college.
And just when you think he will give it you to sniff, wait, there are more steps! how else would this poor fellow justify overpriced liquid? He will blow air on that perfume strip before handing over to you. Don’t be surprised if it smells like onion-fish fry he had that afternoon.
There’s more to procedure if you challenge his choice of perfume. He will make you smell some coffee beans. Then procedure repeats from beginning
Finally only four thousand saar ! You pay, then you go home having spent entire days budget in one counter,
Over the years I’ve had many earworms, no matter how strong they stuck; eventually I found solutions. A piece of advice, when an earworm gets irritating, just listen to Altaf Raja! Not only you’ll start hating any sort music, you ears get clean like a whistle.
Jokes apart, let me introduce you to my all time favorite song – Sails of Charon by Scorpions in their 1977 album Taken by Force, unusual because I don’t particularly like Scorpions, they are just fine.
Sails of Charon, did not have a good video in YouTube, probably because the song itself older than me and you. But recently someone reengineered the video and uploaded HD version of it, not sure how he did that but god bless him!
Watch it for just first one and a half minutes of guitar solo, a mesmerizing neo-classical by Uli Jon Roth. This guy, without giving a damn about rest of the world, delivers a solo in single breath. I think rest of the guitarists would have made a big Nautanki out of it, if they’d played so many notes together, so correct. Enjoy.
Once Klaus starts singing about dark nights and blood etc, you can close it 😉
As you already might have guessed, I am a regular viewer of the the Newshour by Arnab Goswami, and a big fan. It is a ‘complete’ show. There are multiple reasons I choose to watch this – It provides good entertainment, alternatives are poorly scripted; also in a weird sense, this is a kind of adventure sport, for panellists.
Surprisingly though, there is not even a single guide available on how to survive his show. I expected at least a book in market, something like “Arnab for dummies”, nope! So I thought I’ll write one, not book, a post. If you happened to be invited to his show please feel free to use any of these.
BTW, if you do not know Arnab Goswami, please go back into your cave and close the rock door properly. I heard spiders are good protein. For others, let’s start.
Right, Thumb rule is, there is no correct way of doing it. However, there are several wrong ways.
You can never win an argument, you can only survive it. So stop trying to convince him, it will never work.
Do not practice! In fact, you don’t even need to know what the discussion is all about. He will set the premise, then he will ask what “nation needs to know”.
Never ever ask for a proof. If it exists, he has seen it. As it was famously described before by media crooks – every piece of document, including your bus ticket will have to go through his desk. Stamped.
Use the words he uses, he may show mercy on you. ‘National’ television, you’re ‘exclusive’, etc. While there, don’t use the words ‘paid’ and ‘media’, or ‘you’ and ‘PR agent’ in same sentence. Prostate exams seem better than what follows.
Use this as final resort, only if you are cornered. Close your ears and eyes and sing a song, need not be a patriotic song, even Sheela Ki Jawani should work.
If that doesn’t work, use your rugby skills
I will update the list as and when I find more, but as of now above should help you through half an hour of his show.
On a different note, below are some rhetological fallacies I noted. This is in general, rather than Arnab’s show. These are real fallacies, I did not make any of these.
Burden of proof – It’s not my job to find proof, it’s yours. E.g. Give me proof for something I claimed
Special pleading – pleading for exemption without justifying the exemption. E.g. Give them time, they will prove eventually, so don’t scrutinize.
Insufficient sample – broad conclusion on a tiny sample E.g. The latest ‘ground-breaking’ survey had “..about 2000 people – was small and was concentrated on the 18-45 age group”
Relative privation – argument on existence of severe, but unrelated, problems. E.g. How can Madhuri Dikshit and Salman Khan can attend a show while people don’t have blanket in refugee camp.
Appeal to accomplishment – because of his credentials! E.g. have you ever read Arvind Kejriwal’s Resume?
Nazi card – simple branding. e.g. we are liberals, by definition we are open to all ideas except anything remotely right.
Appeal to ridicule – E.g. Idea of abolishing income tax is ridiculous, we don’t even need to talk about it.
Appeal to nature – argument solely dependent on the topic being ‘natural’ or ‘unnatural’. E.g. Homosexuality is unnatural.
Cherry picking – celebrating on few features of an achievement while ignoring significant information of related cases or data that may contradict that position. For example Delhi water problem solved!
Appeal to ignorance – because it is not proven false; so true. e.g. You did not give him a chance yet, he can do wonders.
Appeal to common sense – I cannot imagine how this could be true, therefore it must be false. E.g. I can’t imagine how such a big actor can drive over people sleeping on footpath.
Hedging – using words with ambiguous meanings, then changing the meaning of them later. E.g. we said we will live like common man alright, we also agreed to end VIP culture. But that simply means we won’t use beacons, but gas guzzling SUVs stay. Apparently practising austerity is not for common man.
I recently observed many of Carnatic signers mispronounce words in a well defined lyric.
It is surprising because some of these are very common words in day to day conversation; also these songs have been around from ages. Sad part is, this is not limited just with junior artists, seen this with senior singers as well. For example, sharanu is being pronounced as charanu; not sure if they realise this gives a totally different meaning how originally intended. Sharanu is surrender and charanu in feat!
The charanu might still be harmless change. Sharanu siddhivinayaka… if changed charanu siddhivinayaka…; is like changing ‘surrender to lord ganesha’ into ‘feat of lord ganesha’. It gives different meaning, but still fits the purpose of praising the lord. But, all such word mutations don’t end so well. Take this example: If you know the song ‘gajaananam bhotaganaadisevitam…’; there is a ‘Phalasaara bhakshitam…’ in-between. A lot of people sing it as ‘palasaara bhakshitam…’; which is about a changing ‘fruit enthusiast’ to a ‘meat eater’!
I thought there will be some heated discussion over internet. For my surprise, even by the fans of a very conservative art form, this phenomenon is being forgiven by those who noted it. Music might not have a language, but your lyric does, isn’t it?
There is no question on the achievement in this field and dedication, generations of artists have maintained and enriched all attributes of this form of music, but if lyrics are ignored, that is one purpose failed. Decades spent on learning music, why not spend a fraction of it to learn the meaning as well?
On a separate note: There is a famous quote in Sanskrit “api mAsam masam kuryAt chandobhangam na kArayet” which perhaps written much before Carnatic music became classical. This translates to “you can change, if required, from mAsam (beans) to masam (month) but never ever should break the rhythm of a poem”. In other words, this is the famous poetic licence taken (rather imposed) by pretty much all poets till last century. But note, that was a provision rather than freedom.