Khatta Meetha, the movie and the formula

What do you call that person who does the same mistake again and again? Idiot? Well I am that. I was wrong, again. I was a little hopeful that I will get to see a good Akshay Kumar movie, but no, it turned out to be my mistake again. Movie was too silly and pointless. They kept up Akshay Kumar movie genre.

What a waste of talent. When I saw Khiladi some fifteen years back I  was happy that they found a real action hero who actually does fit for action roles, unlike most of pregnant macho-men in that era. He is handsome, tall and he has all the things to make him Bollywood Tom Cruise or Keanu Reaves. But no, he wanted to become Jim carry, which now after 15 years, he is nowhere near Jim. What a waste!

Khatta meetha
image via wikipedia

Whole of this movie he acts like a mad, along with other mad men hired to do this job. Too many comedians and too many jokes but not a single one of them had quality in them. Hardly half way near Hera Pheri.

Trisha’s introduction to this is a disaster for two reasons. First, there is nothing for her, it’s a male dominant movie, women don’t get to speak much, I don’t think she was well-informed about her role. The second being, she dint do her homework well. She can’t talk Hindi at all. It was easy to observe that her role was either dubbed or lip-synched. Why do we do this? Why do we make them talk in Hindi when they can’t?  Remember Vikram talking Hindi in Raavan? He looked silly. Let him talk Tamil alone, we love him like that.

Rest all departments are not worth talking about. They were hopeless.  It looked like they made a 60s movie. Only good thing in the movie was Rajpal Yadav.

On a lighter side, to come out of the movie review mood, let me explain you how this kind of movie is made. Previously I explained how to write pseudo code for the movie, then how to write lyrics, now, how requirement analysis is done.

In general Bollywood director fills a form which is a template of the movie. Bollywood did not revise this template since 80s. Story writer or director generally fills this form. Script will be ready on the click of a button, automatically.

For your ease I will pre-populate the form with Khatta Meetha values so that you can understand it better?

Movie Genre

What kind of the movie you want to make (Dacoit film is recommended)

o Dacoit film
o Family film
o Love story
o Your own value (not recommended)

Movie name

You have selected family film. Now please select a suitable name for your film. You can also write your own value in text box given below

o Khaalee Peele (love story)
o Galee Khaalee (family drama)
o Golee Khalee (dacoit film)
o Or specify your own value here ()

Star cast

Specify your hero here (if you have selected Mumbai Don Movie answer to this question defaults to Sunjay Dutt)
___Akshay Kumar__

Nature of Hero (Select only among these)

o Educated (Lives on principles at least during end of the movie)
o Illiterate, thug and loafer (comes to mainstream at least during end of the movie)
o Police or lawyer or doctor (law-abiding citizen at least during end of the movie.)
o Negative role (only if actor above is Shah Rukh Khan)

Please adjust other casts in the movie

_1_ number of heroines (please include number of heroines die in the plot)
_1_ number of sisters (1 mandatory for Family, Romantic films. 2 or more in Dacoit movies)
_1_ number of brothers (1 mandatory)
_2_ number of parents (include only emotional blackmailers)
_2_ comedians, _2_ corrupt politicians. _0_ number of corrupt police officers

Movie structures

Please adjust number of songs fights and climax

_1_ fights,
_4_ songs, (1 on street, 1 on temple, 1 around tree, 1 western dance)
_2_ climaxes (1 hero climax, 1 heroin climax, will be explained later below)

Please select “squeeze the intestine” scene from below list (its mandatory to introduce one of these scenes to show the seriousness of the movie, that it is addressing a social issue.)

o Sister sexually harassed and killed
o Struggling to buy fatal medicine (like paracetamol) from medical store braving storms and hurricanes.

Select climax and sentimental scenes (check all of them if you need to, recommended)

o Heroine departs from hero, for principles and money. Comes back to him when he gets both.
o Hero drops out of principles and becomes corrupt temporarily.
o Hero realises that he was wrong all the way, with one word of heroine
o Heroine realises that she was wrong too, with one word of hero. (Followed by flashback).
o Hero heroine both put together make rest of the world realise how wrong they all are

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8 thoughts on “Khatta Meetha, the movie and the formula

  1. Nice analysis, what a waste of time, money and effort were the exact words that came to my mind after watching Khatta Meetha. I wish I had read your review and then decided about going or not going for the movie.

    Like

  2. You said it best: “What a waste of talent.” And thanks for the phrase “squeeze the intestine scene.” Hilarious.

    Like

  3. I can’t stand Akshay Kumar and had to scroll very fast to avoid his face and reach the second and very interesting part of this post. The template is perfect – if you make some creative changes, and sell it back to them, you will be a famous man🙂

    The second part should be a post in itself.
    1. o Dacoit film
    o Family film
    o Love story
    o Your own value (not recommended)

    => Cirkit!

    2. o Khaalee Peele (love story)
    o Galee Khaalee (family drama)
    o Golee Khalee (dacoit film)
    o Or specify your own value here ()

    Hmmm….Gully mein Khelee (Cricket) – I assure you if they accept it, it’s a super hit formula🙂

    But you have to change the hero😀

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    1. Oh yes. Good idea actually.
      A small problem is there are not many cricket movies made in Bollywood. Once they come, we can include it in our formula right away.🙂

      Like

  4. was supposed to go to ‘khatta meetha’ or SALT today, sponsored by my office. obviously all voted for SALT and so we are going for it🙂
    i moved to wordpress from blogdrive!

    Like

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