Review : Love Aaj Kal

“Love Aaj Kal” is a very pleasant movie. This is one of the 5% Bollywood movies where director has common sense and actors can act.

Straight to the points, I liked these:

• Acting. There were no overacting !! All characters were good in their place. Saif was in his best, he is  better actor than Salman, Shah rukh and Akshay combined.
• Hats off to the director. He dint try too hard to communicate anything.
• There was nice sense of humour in the movie, even in emotional scenes and climaxes. All of those had quality, unlike Akshay’s jokes in his movie.
• Deepika was good. She looked hot , sexy and tall (taller than Rani and Preity combined )

I dint like these:

• Songs. Songs were OK, but i dint like them inserted in the movie. When are we getting rid of this practice ?

I read many reviews saying “plot is difficult to catch and confusing”. Well , that’s not true.. at all. This movie is no matrix, you will be able to catch is easily if you have ability to see beyond typical Bollywood Masalas.

I hope this movie is a big hit.

Movie Review : Kambakht Ishq

It was horrible, as expected. It dint make any sense at all , whole of it ! Every scene in the movie was utter madness. Its is generally told that “you need to leave your common sense behind before you watch Akshay Kumar movie“. But how long you can leave it behind ? First there was “singh is kinng” and there was “chandni.. china” stuff. Its almost six months since I left my common sense .. now can I have it back ?

To add to my irritation, crowd in London loved it !!! They were laughing their lungs out every time Akshay behaves like a buffoon or Kareena utters a bitchy dialogue. For example , there is this scene where people in a plane get confused for “Hi, Jack” as “Hijack”. The whole cinema went crazy and I looked like an idiot!! “seriously ..!!! for this used up pj??” Usually with this kind of crowd, one will definitely start doubting his own IQ. I survived since I have some experience in this area.

Back to the movie. Akshay Kumar looks handsome but what’s the point ? He acts like ‘Sid the Sloth’ , and not in a funny way. Kareena was not horrible in this movie. I ignored the presence of Aftab and other lady (Amrita I think), ignored for my good. Stalone, Denice and that superman dude were forceful insertion , they dont count (they actually did not count)

Big Minuses!
Obviously the director was not a bright guy, or he thinks we are not bright. Logic , general knowledge , IQ , math etc were severely hit filming this

• Kareena wears a hanging wrist watch (over the gloves) during the surgery ! and she leaves it in his stomach. Heard this anywhere ?
• Fun part is it can create enough sound for 100 sq m every hour through his stomach ! And batter does not die down till … end of time I suppose.
• Akshay Kumar locates a ring in Pacific Ocean !!! Jumps off the cruise ship in the middle of the ocean… there you go.. pin point !!! French government could have sent this dude when airbus crashed near Brazil. He would have found all victims in an hour … three times.
• Is there a stunt assistant award? How is it like? …like Spot boy awards?
• Doctors were more revealing clothes than anyone else in the movie , say a stripper. Or that’s the way director wants us to think about America.

There are somethings changed in Hindi movie , since I cared to observe

• There were open and direct references to sex (different kind). Too many of them
• All tabooed words are used (unusual for a hindi movie) F*, B*, Bi*, Ba* to name some.
• Number of songs reduced to three. Great news!

From three days I had severe head ache and cold. I accuse this movie for it. Well, it does not sound logical , but hey.. they are the ones who asked me to leave my logic behind!

Review : Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Fallen

I feel violated. I felt like I was a Guinea pig for a cruel physiological experiment, for which I dint even get paid. I should have learned from my mistakes, they dint pay for me for “watchmen” either. This is just another Hollywood crap I wasted my money on, like “watchmen”, “terminator” etc (Basically all action movies of 2009). So trust me, you are not going to get back 150 minutes of your life, which you lost watching this. Watch it only if your ticket is refundable!

Here are some spoilers for those who choose not to trust me , and gonna watch it anyway since first part was (said to be) good :

• You remember they told , coloured alien trucks are good guys and grey/black are bad guys ? well, that rule no longer applies for this sequel. Throughout the movie you will be thrown into a puzzle where you will be left wondering who is fighting who. There are coloured enemies and grey allies, and fights simply indistinguishable.
• There was also a rule that, aliens transform into trucks, cars etc. but this time it surprisingly transforms into a hot girl!! with skin, legs, tongue etc
• There is this wise and old alien who can fly, but to walk he needs walking stick!!!

Transformers 2 is lifted from Bollywood!!

Now i feel that, Hollywood directors are running out of ideas and have started picking them from Bollywood Masala formulas. In this movie for instance, has a lot of qualities you find similar to a Hindi movie for reasons like these :

• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a smart, cute , intelligent hero and hot heroin (though she is a car mechanic), a comedian (as usual guys room mate) , sentimental father and mother. There are some bad boys who are powerful , good guys who are powerful (but not when needed) , government and authorities who’s hands are tied by rules etc.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a happy ending even though the fight is between human cockroaches  and mighty alien machines. Good guys win the battle even though only powerful ally remain dead till the end.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , our guy believes in one girlfriend. She replicates.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , it is painfully long.  150 minutes ! You could travel London to Paris in that duration, by train !
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is battle field sentimental discussion and debate between boy – girl , boy – father, boy – mother , mother – father  then finally girl and mother-in-law. Topic is simple Bollywood crap “Be careful…., i will wait my whole life time….. for you!”
• Just like a Bollywood movie , bad guys abduct boys parents !! This formula is so used up, I guess this movie is 20 millionth to use this formula.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is this girl who tries to seduce our guy when our girl pops in at same time and feels Jealous. Then they fight , good girl kills bad girl.

I am gonna add few more points here as and when I recall. When we have a strong case , lets sue that director.

All for BoSs

When the movie ‘Pirates of Caribbean’ came to theatre here(I am a hardcore fab of Jonny Depp), I bought tickets, watched that crap, ate pop-corn and came back. I am also planning to watch Sreck 3. If I like it, I’ll applaud and write a blog entry. If not walk out in the middle of the movie and drive back home.
Watch a movie, laugh/cry, watch again/quit in middle then forget about it, that’s all… Life is to enjoy…so simple … I thought, So far.
Now, let me introduce some of Rajni’s fans, to whom watching movies is not as simple as it to me (buy tickets, eat popcorn etc). They cry, they laugh, they go hysteric, they get new hair cut, they get tattooed … pierced etc, etc.

Have a look at couple of extreme worshipers of Shivaji

I live in Chennai and life seems so different from last one week. Having Rajani movies in your town is not all that simple. This phenomenon is observed on such a large scale, the entire state seems mesmerized.

Universal soldier Balayya

After writing about our beloved Gyapten sir, I just couldn’t help myself posting about one more universal warrior. He is one dedicated professional trained in samurai, karate, Judo, yoga, kalaripet, and bubo (whatever that means), has been pain in the ass of so many bad gangstas we have around in this cruel world. You people don’t realize the reasons you are alive. Anyways, come to the point. He is Balayya, James balayya.

There is confusion between we will call Gyapten as Tamil balayya or Balayya as Telugu Gyapten. I would like to keep them keep them separate without any comparison. They both are legends in their own ways.

Let’s start. First and foremost thing reason I worship him (and also the reason you are all alive) is because of this bomb diffusion (he did it for mankind). But unfortunately I did not get video for that. But not to worry, we have vivek. He has written that for us with the help of some of the photos.

Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna onto a chair…Those idiots didnt know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by a simple chair…

 

Here is our hero’s brother…The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach…The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls.. The shells triggered Balakrishna’s brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea…He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells…

Sitayana – Sita’s Epic

The story Ramayana* is his entire life journey starting from his innocent youth, his mastery over skills in winning Sita, his role as dutiful and obedient son to adhere to his father’s words while aware of the flagitious intensions of his step mother. He gives up all the worldly richness and sets away to spend 14 years in jungle. Sita being his wife accompanies him followed by Laxman, Ram’s younger brother.

They spend quite an adventurous and romantic** life in the forest. Sita finds her world in her husband Ram and experiences an unspelled love for him. Everything works fine when one day, Sita gets abducted by Ravana while Ram is away to fulfill one of her impossible wishes. Ram does everything possible to get back his love. He gathers a huge army, builds a bridge across an ocean, does all that he could. Finally, he succeeds to kill Ravana and gets her back. With this they complete 14 years of stay in jungle and they return to their kingdom after which they should have lived happily ever after.

But the story takes turmoil instead, Ram’s story ends here and Sita’s story begins. This happens when a subject of Ram’s kingdom whispers “how could Ram trust Sita, who been with Ravana for so long”. Ram wants a test now, Agni-Pareeksha – A test to check purity of a woman, by entering into fire. Exactly this part of the story becomes hard to digest. This is where so many questions arise and is left unanswered.

• Did it serve right for a person like Ram ‘the so called God’ to come down to such a cruel act?
• Is he setting example for all men or rather his followers to commit such an act?
• Or is he doing right by following well set example from his predecessors?
• Ram must have done justice to his kingdom? But why not to his wife? Had he really loved her he wouldn’t have banished her at such a crucial moment.

Gyapten is back

Ladies and Gentlemen:, this year Captain* Vijay Kant is back , with the same crap you have seen over and over again. In and as grandson of “Sabari” (“Sabari” “Sabari”…echoes).I present to you a wonderful piece of action where from the movie “sabari- the sharp knife”.

It goes like this : A bad guy shoots at Gyapten. The bullet rushes towards Gyapten with little less than speed of light. Bullet hits Gyapten’s chest and gets reflected. The best part … it kills the guy who shot him!!!!!!!!.

Here are some more from his previous blockbusters.

ಪೂರ್ಣಚಂದ್ರ ತೇಜಸ್ವಿ ಎಂಬ ಕಥೆಗಾರ

ಪೂಚಂತೇಯವರ ಮೊದಲ ಪುಸ್ತಕ ನಾನು ಓದಿದ್ದು “ಕರ್ವಲೋ”. ಆಗ ನಾನಿನ್ನೂ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಹುಡುಗ, ಐದ್ನೇ ಕ್ಲಾಸಲ್ಲಿದ್ದೆ. ಹೈಸ್ಕೂಲಿನಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಅಣ್ಣನಿಗೆ ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಬಹುಮಾನವಾಗಿ ಈ ಪುಸ್ತಕ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿದ್ರು ( ತಟ್ಟೆ ಪ್ಲೇಟು ಬಹುಮಾನವಾಗಿ ಕೊಡೋ ಪದ್ದತಿ ಆ ಸ್ಕೂಲಿನಲ್ಲಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ). ನನಗೆ ಅದು ದೆವ್ವ ಭೂತಗಳ ಕಥೆಗಳನ್ನು ಒದೋ ಕಾಲ ( ಅರೇಬಿಯನ್ ನೈಟ್ಸ್, ವಿಕ್ತ್ರಮ ಬೆತಾಳನ ಕಥೆಗಳು ). “ಕರ್ವಲೊ” ಕೇಳೊಕೆ ಹೆಸರು ವಿಚಿತ್ರವಾಗಿತ್ತು , ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ ” ಕರ್ವಲೊ ಅಂತ ಒಬ್ಬ ವಿಜ್ನಾನಿ , ಅವರೂ ಮತ್ತೆ ಕೆಲವರೂ ಹಾರೋ ಉಡದ ಹಿಂದೆ ಹೋಗೊ ಕಥೆ”.

 

ಹಾಗೊ ಹೀಗೊ ಮುಗಿಸಿದೆ … ಹೀರೋ ಭೂತದ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಫೈಟಿಂಗ್ ಮಾಡ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ ಸೊಲ್ಪ ಬೇಜರಾಯ್ತು. ಕ್ಲಾಸಿಕ್ ಪುಸ್ತಕಗಳೇನೆಂದರೆ ಐಡಿಯಾನೇ ಇರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಶಾಲೆಯ ಗಣಿತ ಪುಸ್ತಕಕ್ಕಿಂತಲೂ ದಪ್ಪದ ಪುಸ್ತಕ ಓದಿಬಿಟ್ಟೆ ಎಂಬ ಹೆಮ್ಮೆ ಅಶ್ಟೇ. ಅರ್ಥ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ “ಸುರಂಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಮಾಧಿ” ಓದೋ ಕಾಲ ಅದು. ಕತ್ತೆಗೇನು ಗೊತ್ತು ಕಸ್ತೋರಿ ಗಂಧ. ಮುಂದಿನ ನಾಲ್ಕೈದು ವರ್ಷಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಏಳೆಂಟು ಸಲ ಓದಿ ಜಸ್ಟಿಸ್ ಕೊಟ್ಟೆ ಪುಸ್ತಕಕ್ಕೆ.

 

ಮುಂದಿನ ವರ್ಷ ಅಣ್ಣ “ಶಿವನಿಪಳ್ಳಿಯ ಕಪ್ಪು ಚಿರತೆ” ತಂದ, ಬಹುಮಾನವಾಗಿ. “ಕೆನ್ನೆತ್ ಆಂಡರ್ಸನ್” ಸ್ವತಂತ್ರ್ಯಪೂರ್ವ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬೇಟೆಯಾಡಿದ ನರಭಕ್ಷಕ ಚಿರತೆ ಹುಲಿಗಳ ಕಥೆಗಳು. ನನ್ನ್ನ ಪೋಚಂತೇ ಅನುವಾದ. ಪುಟಪುಟವೂ ರೊಮಾಂಚಕವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಆಂಡರ್ಸನ್ ಯಾರೋ ಕೇಳಿ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ , ತೇಜಸ್ವಿಯಂತೂ ಒಂದುವರ್ಷದಿಂದ ಪರಿಚಯ. ಸೊ.. ಇನ್ನೂ “ಶಿವನಿಪಳ್ಲಿ..” ಬೇಟೆಯಾಟ ನೋಡಿದ್ರೆ ತೇಜಸ್ವಿ ಬೇಟೆಗಳೇ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ.

 

ಮಧ್ಯದಲೊಮ್ಮೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಹಳ್ಳಿ ಪೊಲೀಸ್ ಮಾಮನಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಡಿ ಬೇಡಿ ಅವರ ಕಲೆಕ್ಶನ್ನಿಂದ ‘ಮಿಸ್ಸಿಂಗ್ ಲಿಂಕ್” ಓದಿದ್ದೆ. “ನಿಯಾಂಡರ್ತಲ್ , ಕ್ರೊ – ಮ್ಯಾಗ್ನನ್” ಮನುಷ್ಯರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬರೆದಿದ್ದ್ರು ತೇಜಸ್ವಿ.

I recall 500 English movies …

I can recall 500 movies now and this is my list in IMDB. I have selected my favorite among them here. Click on the images or the link to learn more about the movies.

• The movies roughly belong to those categories I have given below. Some of them are more than 10 and some of them less.
• Movies in are in no order inside the category, they are qualified to be called as my favorites. In other words I am feeling lazy to rearrange them
• Sequels and trilogies are shown as the first movie itself ( reason : lazy )

Drama

Crash (2004/I)

Forrest Gump (1994)

Finding Forrester (2000)

The Rainmaker (1997)

Schindler’s List (1993)

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

The Terminal (2004)

Thank You for Smoking (2005)

12 Angry Men (1957)

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

Coach Carter (2005)

Cast Away (2000)

The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Romantic

50 First Dates (2004)

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)

French Kiss (1995)

Indecent Proposal (1993)

Just My Luck (2006)

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

A Walk in the Clouds (1995)

The Sound of Music (1965)

A Walk to Remember (2002)

What Women Want (2000)

Animation

Antz (1998)

A Bug’s Life (1998)

Chicken Run (2000)

Finding Nemo (2003)

Madagascar (2005)

Ice Age (2002)

Monsters, Inc. (2001)

India lost and ICC goes bankrupt

I finally watched one game of cricket world cup (FYI. I hate cricket, Orkut and strawberry). India lost to Srilanka, thanks to Tendulkar and others who thought a partnership with Dravid is not a good idea. (I recalled a mythological story of Abhimayu here). That was the first match I watched, and of course the last in this world cup. With my knowledge of cricket I completely agree with Dravid – “we does not deserve world cup“.

The whole India is doing tap dance on India cricketer’s head now, general mentality. I would like to say “good work guys, you played well. You tried your best. We don’t deserve world cup this time. That’s all”. Say if we win this time, won’t you ask for Football world cup? Then hockey and so on.

India lost, as predictors guess ICC now will go bankrupt. No big deal, wot say?

The intense pressure and demands of modern sport, more often than not, convert participants into gladiators. And these pressures become even more intense if the very edifice of a game is dependent on a single or a handful of teams.

The modern cricket market is a sub continental monopoly, and as with almost every monopoly, this can hardly ever be healthy.

The world of cricket had reacted with a mixture of elation and amazement when news had broken out that the magic figure of $1 billion had been breached by a leading sports channel to buy international cricket telecast rights for the next eight years.

ESPN managing director Jamie Davis said, “This acquisition affirms our commitment to the Indian subcontinent and the world and we are absolutely delighted to bring the exciting line-up of ICC events to millions of cricket fans globally Inherent in this statement is the root of the problem. For the recovery of more than 80 per cent of the $1.1 billion spent, ESPN is banking on the cricket craze in the Indian subcontinent.

However, if India is knocked out in the group stages of the World Cup, not a single advertiser will henceforth have the courage to invest money in buying advertising slots early.