There is this site, which can calculate what does the internet think on anything you wish. To start with I keyed in the same keywords any curious Indian would do, “India” and “Pakistan”.

Nothing conclusive , but good to see the results this way. On the same lines, there is one ”bicycle repairman” joke on relevant to this. Here it is if you haven’t heard of it, enjoy:

Manmohan Singh and Barack Obama are sitting at a pub sipping bear. A Journalist who walks in and sees these guys and the conversation :

J: What on the earth you guys dicussing in a pub?

BO: We’re planning World War III.

J : Really? What’s your plan ?

MS: We’re going to kill 15 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman

J: A bicycle repairman!?!

Manmohan turns to Obama and says: “See, I told you no one would worry about the 15 million Pakistanis!”

Posted in rants Tagged: colossus, Thorpe park ]]> http://bachodi.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/thorpe-park-colossus/feed/ 0 bachodi http://bachodi.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/review-love-aaj-kal/ http://bachodi.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/review-love-aaj-kal/#comments Sun, 02 Aug 2009 10:29:24 +0000 bachodi http://bachodi.wordpress.com/?p=499 ]]>

“Love Aaj Kal” is a very pleasant movie. This is one of the 5% Bollywood movies where director has common sense and actors can act.

Straight to the points, I liked these:

• Acting. There were no overacting !! All characters were good in their place. Saif was in his best, he is  better actor than Salman, Shah rukh and Akshay combined.
• Hats off to the director. He dint try too hard to communicate anything.
• There was nice sense of humour in the movie, even in emotional scenes and climaxes. All of those had quality, unlike Akshay’s jokes in his movie.
• Deepika was good. She looked hot , sexy and tall (taller than Rani and Preity combined )

I dint like these:

• Songs. Songs were OK, but i dint like them inserted in the movie. When are we getting rid of this practice ?

I read many reviews saying “plot is difficult to catch and confusing”. Well , that’s not true.. at all. This movie is no matrix, you will be able to catch is easily if you have ability to see beyond typical Bollywood Masalas.

I hope this movie is a big hit.

This is what you might have heard, or may be variant of it “This Maharashtra Police, I tell you, they are second to only the Scotland Yard of Britain – Big B“. I have heard the same about Hyderabad police , even Vijaykant (Captain) quotes in a movie that Tamilnadu police is second only to Scotland Yard.

Its a lie , it’s a bigger lie than “Salman Khan” can act !!. In fact, there are three lies in one statement.

• Scotland Yard is not a police force. Its an address of a (one of a )London City police force headquarters. Metropolitan police headquarters is at Scotland Yard , Westminster London with some post code.
• There is no citation that Met police is number one in world. Even if it there (citation needed) , on what basis ? what are the qualities analysed ?
• There is no reason that, one of Indian police force is second to that. Its just way to convince people with the information crowd is not going to verify , forever.

“Second only” song for those people who may go to google and try to verify if they were told it is “the best”. i.e. If you say “we are the best” could get “get lost…!” from some people. To convince these set of people try saying “we are not best , but we are right behind the best..” and the reaction would be “possible ..hm!!”.

There are so many other facts convinced with these kind of lies, for example :

• “India produces maximum wind power in whole world and Tamilnadu accounts for 80% of it”. This gem was by a key note speaker in a Electrical Engg. conference. He had authority on this topic since he was in Electricity Board.
• “It is scientifically proven that animal does not feel any pain if it is butchered as Halal and Kosher (religious way)”. I am not going to believe this till a dead bird or a goat explains me this logic. If you need proof , just go to PETA site and watch some videos on religious butchering, you will see everything yourself.

Its easy, you can always use words like ’scientifically’ and ‘technically’ to prove anything. See , I will create one theory right away : “Its is scientifically proven that “ginger-garlic paste” used in tikka masala has medicinal value and is a natural cure for Anthrax.

Posted in london, rants Tagged: london, tate ]]> http://bachodi.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/mom-told-not-to-draw-on-walls/feed/ 3 bachodi http://bachodi.wordpress.com/2009/06/21/review-transformers-2-revenge-of-the-fallen/ http://bachodi.wordpress.com/2009/06/21/review-transformers-2-revenge-of-the-fallen/#comments Sun, 21 Jun 2009 01:04:57 +0000 bachodi http://bachodi.wordpress.com/?p=450 ]]>

I feel violated. I felt like I was a Guinea pig for a cruel physiological experiment, for which I dint even get paid. I should have learned from my mistakes, they dint pay for me for “watchmen” either. This is just another Hollywood crap I wasted my money on, like “watchmen”, “terminator” etc (Basically all action movies of 2009). So trust me, you are not going to get back 150 minutes of your life, which you lost watching this. Watch it only if your ticket is refundable!

Here are some spoilers for those who choose not to trust me , and gonna watch it anyway since first part was (said to be) good :

• You remember they told , coloured alien trucks are good guys and grey/black are bad guys ? well, that rule no longer applies for this sequel. Throughout the movie you will be thrown into a puzzle where you will be left wondering who is fighting who. There are coloured enemies and grey allies, and fights simply indistinguishable.
• There was also a rule that, aliens transform into trucks, cars etc. but this time it surprisingly transforms into a hot girl!! with skin, legs, tongue etc
• There is this wise and old alien who can fly, but to walk he needs walking stick!!!

Transformers 2 is lifted from Bollywood!!

Now i feel that, Hollywood directors are running out of ideas and have started picking them from Bollywood Masala formulas. In this movie for instance, has a lot of qualities you find similar to a Hindi movie for reasons like these :

• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a smart, cute , intelligent hero and hot heroin (though she is a car mechanic), a comedian (as usual guys room mate) , sentimental father and mother. There are some bad boys who are powerful , good guys who are powerful (but not when needed) , government and authorities who’s hands are tied by rules etc.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a happy ending even though the fight is between human cockroaches  and mighty alien machines. Good guys win the battle even though only powerful ally remain dead till the end.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , our guy believes in one girlfriend. She replicates.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , it is painfully long.  150 minutes ! You could travel London to Paris in that duration, by train !
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is battle field sentimental discussion and debate between boy – girl , boy – father, boy – mother , mother – father  then finally girl and mother-in-law. Topic is simple Bollywood crap “Be careful…., i will wait my whole life time….. for you!”
• Just like a Bollywood movie , bad guys abduct boys parents !! This formula is so used up, I guess this movie is 20 millionth to use this formula.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is this girl who tries to seduce our guy when our girl pops in at same time and feels Jealous. Then they fight , good girl kills bad girl.

I am gonna add few more points here as and when I recall. When we have a strong case , lets sue that director.

Finally ! some one used it against me

She: squsme, Can yu buy a pack of fag for me ? from that shop..? Pleez

Me: No way kid .. how old are you ? ten ?

She: PLeez sir, I am all stressed out …

Me: NO .. you are too young for that

She: FU** U A**HOLE.

It was a ten year old who gave me “asheervada”

I know cooking now.., it’s easy. Please try sometime. Rice:

• Open the packet of rice
• Put it in rice cooker, switch on.
• When get switched off, eat it. If something remains eat tomorrow. If some more.. Eat the day after.. and so on.

Rasam

• Prepare Rasam
• Add yesterday’s left over Rasam. Eat it with rice. Leftovers, add it to next day Rasam. Repeat the process till Saturday
• On Sunday, throw the remaining and wash the utensils. Eat pizza.

Maggy

• Put maggy in boiling water.
• Throw the burnt maggy, and eat the eatable chunk of it. Throw the rest

Parantha

• Take it from freezer and put it on hot pan. Eat it with priya pickle.
• Use “chimrta” to turn it in pan. ( if you don’t have one , keep the band-aid ready )

See, I told you… Cooking is not rocket science.

. .. so you better get the party started

posted just to keep the blog ticking ..

Last 10 Days.
I dint receive a single call, I dint make a call…
I dint blog a single post, neither read one…
I dint read a single mail, neither mailed one…
I dint eat a single pizza, heard a single pink Floyd song…

This is not normal … I must be dead.

“Saaptaccahaa..?”"uNu Kazhinyo.”kabar kecho..”"kalei vanakkam..”"kee gal he..”"nandri”"bhojanam ayinda ..” etc. etc.

.. But nobody ever asked me “oota ayta, saar”. whats wrong with my language yaar!

update: In depth analysis

I was on a break, I am still on. It was unexpected one – thanks to Airtel, hutch and her other brothers and sisters for isolating me from the rest of the world. Looks like i will never reach a stage where I “happily did blogging ever after”

ow thank you notes.

•  Airtel, thanks for sending a kid on tenth day to look into my modem problems. I was wondering when you are gonna change that “24X7 to service” to “once in a month service”.
• Hutch, That was very new information, that your SIMs stop working suddenly and you your customer will loose all the data he has in it. Solution of buying a new SIM must be bringing you good money eh?

Other honorable mentions

• Thanks for Credit card guys for auto debiting double the money I spent ( with Rs300 fine). That leaves me penniless, hmm feels good.
• HDFC thanks for sending my checkbook to some village near Hyderabad. for me 600KM is really not a distance. And closing my account without my consent was really smart.
• About heavy brokerage ICICI, hm thats valid. By the way did I buy anything. (This one is latest, need to talk to customer care yet)

old culprits.

• DOmino’s broke a record , by sending a pizza after 2Hrs30Mins. I actually asked him “what made you come so early for my next order”
• “Jon Player” have weak stitchings – in dangerous spot.

I totally agree with “bhagwan jab deta he, chappad phad ke deta he”

Come to my work, I am currently adding 15manhrs per day to Indian economy. I did it on Independence day also. Gandhiji must be really happy, clients weren’t.

I was seven eight then (some 20 years back ) , I used to wait for commercial breaks in between Ramayana or other Sunday entertainers , for this girl to come and say

“I loove you Rasnaaaaaaaaaaaa“.

I recall me telling my friends, “If my parents are OK ., I am gonna marry her” .

photos are picked from Meghna’s vintage indian advertisements

This story dates back to two years. I was in Hyderabad then. Those were really wonderful days and we used to call it as “Paid holidays”.

This is about one funny incident (accident), which is still number second most embarrassing moments (first one was i got a degree ). Alright come to the point.. one fine day me and one my colleagues were left for a dinner and suddenly we realized the lift jammed between two floors, power went off. That “colleague” was a “she”, and as expected she started off with “mummyy…:-( “. I too was reluctant to shout for help, cause i din’t want my leg gets pulled ( I love the other way round). We waited for some time , power dint come nor any help. I too was fed up.. how long can you keep singing “Hum tum .. ek kamre me bandh ho….”. We called for help ( hutch has good network )

there starts the story. Did they come..? , yes they all came holding popcorn and coke, as if they are coming to a zoo or cinema. (To mention one of my best friend called me and .”what raa… lifta.. sikkibiddadda…?? lovvaa…” and also “shit , i missed the whole show.” show ????

They all literally acted like they are looking at a rare animal. Only thing remaining was they poke us with a stick and throw peanuts. Watchman miya came and he too joined them for the party.

See the image, the guy who is laughing his stomach out is my best friend. watchman refused to release us initially said “Baite raho miya … hum log disturb nahee karenge “
..???

Group shot , before they released us.

I know it is little too early to think about my retirement plan. But if I don’t plan it now , they gonna give me a pigeonhole in some stupid metro after 40 years.

Sea view , dense woods, Shendi Angadi ( arrack shop ) and me. wot say?

Dear Domino’s and Subway,
Congratulations on loosing one more customer. Thanks for all the wrong deliveries you have done to me. I took long time before I settle down, after trying chapathis of pizza corner, paranthas and pizza hut and vada pav of Marry brown. It was taste and quality that made me keep ordering you. But now, it looks like you misplaced recipe.

Its too late now, I am tired. You both together lost around 1500 Rs business per week. There are some things I want to ask (and shout).

• I repeatedly telling Jalapeño am my favorite. When I say I need more Jalapeño on subway and extra Jalapeño topping on my pizza, I mean “I NEED ““EXTRA” of them. I did not find a single piece of it. Do you know English?
• If you haven’t put Jalapeño, please tell me you haven’t. “It’s embedded inside the pizza”, “it’s in the form of pizza” etc are simply not acceptable. Your delivery boys think I am and lallu-pappu is it?
• When I say “one” it is “one”, when I say “two” I really mean I need “two”. Please don’t send one coke less and argue that is what I ordered. I know my orders and you billed it. Your apologies don’t fill my stomach.
• Please do not display that Paresh Rawal ad “30 min, else pizza free”. I was just wondering how many people you have fooled already.
• When I want a sub, I need Italian vegetables in it, a pizza should have all the things it is written in pamphlets, and garlic bread should have garlic paste on it. These are all for your information. I strongly believe you have misplaced recipe.
• Call your head office and confirm, are you really authorized to customize pizzas and subs based on local food. Only cabbage, tomato and cucumber will make it look like veg sandwich. I dint order for that and I am not willing to pay that amount you have written.
• If you don’t have small and medium pizzas, you supply only large ones, please close your shop for the day.

That’s all for now. Good bye. Find some other person and fool him, I am done.

Technorati Tags: Jalapeño, dominos, pizza, subway, Chennai

ಕನ್ನಡ ಅಂತ್ಯಾಕ್ಷರಿ ಪ್ರವೀಣರು ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಿ. ತುಂಬಾ ದಿನದಿಂದ ಒಂದು ಹಾಡು ಹುಡುಕುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಕೇಳಿ ತುಂಬಾ ವರ್ಷಗಳೇ ಆಯ್ತು. ಲಾಸ್ಟ್ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದು ರೇಡಿಯೋದಲ್ಲಿ. ಅದು ಕೇಬಲ್ ಚಾನಲ್‌ಗಳು ಶುರುವಾಗೋ ಮೊದಲಿನ ಜಮಾನ. ಲಿರಿಕ್ಸ್ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಮಾತ್ರ ನೆನಪಿದೆ. ಎಲ್ಲಾದ್ರೂ ಕೇಳಿದ್ದು, ನೋಡಿದ್ದು , ಹಾಡಿದ್ದು, ಬರೆದಿದ್ದು ಇದ್ರೆ    ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ಹೇಳಿ. ಎಂಪಿ3 ಇದ್ರಂತೂ ತುಂಬಾ ಉಪಕಾರ . ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು bachodiATgmailDOTcom ಗೆ ಕಳುಹಿಸಿ.

 “ಕಾಡ ನೋಡ ಹೋಗಿ … ಕವಿತೆಯೊಡನೆ ಬಂದೆ..

 ———– ( not sure here )—— ——

ಸುಂದರ ಹುಡುಗಿಯನ್ನು ಕಂಡೆ.

ಮಾತನಾಡಲೂ…… … ಅವಳು ಮಾಯವಾದಳು !!!

Update : Prashanth has posted MP3 in my comments. Thank you very much. I was searching that song from long. the lyrics goes like this :

ಕಾಡು ನೋಡ ಹೋದೆ ಕವಿತೇ ಒಡನೆ ಬಂದೆ
ಕವಿತೆಯೊಳಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ರಾಗ ದೊಡನೆ ಬಂದೆ
ಕಡಲ ನೋಡ ಹೋದೆ ಮಾಯದ ಕಲೆಗೆ ಬಲೆ ಯ ತಂದೆ
ಬಳೆಯ ಬೀಸಿ ಕಾದು ಮೋಹದ ತರುಣಿಯನ್ನು ತಂದೆ

ಮಾತನಾಡಲೂ……ಅವಳು ಮಾಯವಾದಳು

I was very irregular in blogosphere lately. I was busy resolving life, both professional and personal. Thanks for asking.

Here I am., back to track

Keep your words sweet – you may have to eat them sometime.

There is one very similar subhashita in Sanskrit, which always been my favorite.

प्रियवाक्यप्रदानेन सर्वे तुश्यंति जंतवः | तस्मात्तदेव वक्तव्यं वचने का दरीद्रता ||

(To read: priyavAkyapradAnEna sarvE tushanti jantavah tasmattadEva vaktavyam vachanE ka darIdratA )

All living creatures love listening to you, if you talk sweet. So why poverty of sweet words ?