Bicycle Repairman

There is this site, which can calculate what does the internet think on anything you wish. To start with I keyed in the same keywords any curious Indian would do, “India” and “Pakistan”.

Nothing conclusive , but good to see the results this way. On the same lines, there is one ”bicycle repairman” joke on relevant to this. Here it is if you haven’t heard of it, enjoy:

Manmohan Singh and Barack Obama are sitting at a pub sipping bear. A Journalist who walks in and sees these guys and the conversation :

J: What on the earth you guys dicussing in a pub?

BO: We’re planning World War III.

J : Really? What’s your plan ?

MS: We’re going to kill 15 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman

J: A bicycle repairman!?!

Manmohan turns to Obama and says: “See, I told you no one would worry about the 15 million Pakistanis!”

Thorpe park colossus

Movie verdicts of weekend

Hindi
Kameeney                  +8
Life partner                -2

English
Inglourious Basterds     +8
Time Travellers wife       +6
Dance Flick                       +4

Tamil
Kanthasamy                       -3

Review : Love Aaj Kal

“Love Aaj Kal” is a very pleasant movie. This is one of the 5% Bollywood movies where director has common sense and actors can act.

Straight to the points, I liked these:

• Acting. There were no overacting !! All characters were good in their place. Saif was in his best, he is  better actor than Salman, Shah rukh and Akshay combined.
• Hats off to the director. He dint try too hard to communicate anything.
• There was nice sense of humour in the movie, even in emotional scenes and climaxes. All of those had quality, unlike Akshay’s jokes in his movie.
• Deepika was good. She looked hot , sexy and tall (taller than Rani and Preity combined )

I dint like these:

• Songs. Songs were OK, but i dint like them inserted in the movie. When are we getting rid of this practice ?

I read many reviews saying “plot is difficult to catch and confusing”. Well , that’s not true.. at all. This movie is no matrix, you will be able to catch is easily if you have ability to see beyond typical Bollywood Masalas.

I hope this movie is a big hit.

Maharashtra Police, they are second to only the Scotland Yard of Britain

This is what you might have heard, or may be variant of it “This Maharashtra Police, I tell you, they are second to only the Scotland Yard of Britain – Big B“. I have heard the same about Hyderabad police , even Vijaykant (Captain) quotes in a movie that Tamilnadu police is second only to Scotland Yard.

Its a lie , it’s a bigger lie than “Salman Khan” can act !!. In fact, there are three lies in one statement.

• Scotland Yard is not a police force. Its an address of a (one of a )London City police force headquarters. Metropolitan police headquarters is at Scotland Yard , Westminster London with some post code.
• There is no citation that Met police is number one in world. Even if it there (citation needed) , on what basis ? what are the qualities analysed ?
• There is no reason that, one of Indian police force is second to that. Its just way to convince people with the information crowd is not going to verify , forever.

“Second only” song for those people who may go to google and try to verify if they were told it is “the best”. i.e. If you say “we are the best” could get “get lost…!” from some people. To convince these set of people try saying “we are not best , but we are right behind the best..” and the reaction would be “possible ..hm!!”.

There are so many other facts convinced with these kind of lies, for example :

• “India produces maximum wind power in whole world and Tamilnadu accounts for 80% of it”. This gem was by a key note speaker in a Electrical Engg. conference. He had authority on this topic since he was in Electricity Board.
• “It is scientifically proven that animal does not feel any pain if it is butchered as Halal and Kosher (religious way)”. I am not going to believe this till a dead bird or a goat explains me this logic. If you need proof , just go to PETA site and watch some videos on religious butchering, you will see everything yourself.

Its easy, you can always use words like ’scientifically’ and ‘technically’ to prove anything. See , I will create one theory right away : “Its is scientifically proven that “ginger-garlic paste” used in tikka masala has medicinal value and is a natural cure for Anthrax.

Mom told not to draw on walls

Review : Transformers 2 – Revenge of the Fallen

I feel violated. I felt like I was a Guinea pig for a cruel physiological experiment, for which I dint even get paid. I should have learned from my mistakes, they dint pay for me for “watchmen” either. This is just another Hollywood crap I wasted my money on, like “watchmen”, “terminator” etc (Basically all action movies of 2009). So trust me, you are not going to get back 150 minutes of your life, which you lost watching this. Watch it only if your ticket is refundable!

Here are some spoilers for those who choose not to trust me , and gonna watch it anyway since first part was (said to be) good :

• You remember they told , coloured alien trucks are good guys and grey/black are bad guys ? well, that rule no longer applies for this sequel. Throughout the movie you will be thrown into a puzzle where you will be left wondering who is fighting who. There are coloured enemies and grey allies, and fights simply indistinguishable.
• There was also a rule that, aliens transform into trucks, cars etc. but this time it surprisingly transforms into a hot girl!! with skin, legs, tongue etc
• There is this wise and old alien who can fly, but to walk he needs walking stick!!!

Transformers 2 is lifted from Bollywood!!

Now i feel that, Hollywood directors are running out of ideas and have started picking them from Bollywood Masala formulas. In this movie for instance, has a lot of qualities you find similar to a Hindi movie for reasons like these :

• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a smart, cute , intelligent hero and hot heroin (though she is a car mechanic), a comedian (as usual guys room mate) , sentimental father and mother. There are some bad boys who are powerful , good guys who are powerful (but not when needed) , government and authorities who’s hands are tied by rules etc.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a happy ending even though the fight is between human cockroaches  and mighty alien machines. Good guys win the battle even though only powerful ally remain dead till the end.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , our guy believes in one girlfriend. She replicates.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , it is painfully long.  150 minutes ! You could travel London to Paris in that duration, by train !
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is battle field sentimental discussion and debate between boy – girl , boy – father, boy – mother , mother – father  then finally girl and mother-in-law. Topic is simple Bollywood crap “Be careful…., i will wait my whole life time….. for you!”
• Just like a Bollywood movie , bad guys abduct boys parents !! This formula is so used up, I guess this movie is 20 millionth to use this formula.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is this girl who tries to seduce our guy when our girl pops in at same time and feels Jealous. Then they fight , good girl kills bad girl.

I am gonna add few more points here as and when I recall. When we have a strong case , lets sue that director.

Jotheyali

Jotheyali by Jo. This guys is goood.

Graffiti declaration