Dil Bole Hadippaa! is another Yash Raj crappy movie. If you are not in high school (or below) and love your reasoning ability you shouldn’t like it. The movie is based on day dreams and fantasies of a fourteen year old.

Remember you were fourteen dreamt about being Chinese figure skating couple (with girl of third bench in your class) after watching it in ESPN? or dreamt about being Spanish Matador after watching it in a news channel? or being secret agent for RAW India and air dropped into Rawalpindi Pakiland for an assignment only you are capable of doing, fantasised after watching a crappy 007 bond movie? It’s same here in Dil Bole Hadippa. Scriptwriter was in a mindset of a high school kid and he just watched a Cricket match!!!

If you were to fantasise a cricket match …..

• Match will have to be won, and it should not be an easy win. It will be a “Last Ball, Last wicket, four runs” win
• Match will have to be won and more importantly won against political or traditional rivals. Also, it has to be a revenge win… 10 year old revenge.
• Opposite team will have 11 all-rounder world class players? Your team will have only you and your captain can play cricket. Rest of them are good for nothing. Still you win
• On the process of winning your vital bone will be fractured, your hand. You will still play to win the match. (If it were foot ball your leg will be fractured and if you are a ballet dancer your ankle….& so on).
• At one point of the time you will have to hit six sixes.
• You will have the ability to score big runs as right and also left handed batsman

Unfortunately all these fantasies are true in this movie; they are incorporated as it is; giving you the ability to predict every scene in the movie.

Other Masalas….

1. Masala #1 Songs: Packed with bad songs. Not single one of them is worth remembering again. This movie is targeted for NRIs around the worlds and specifically Punjabis, so each song is bhangra, with loads of colours and stuff. Exactly. I have never been to Punjab, but I am curious to learn if they dance all the time there as shown in this movie?
2. Masala#2 Re-unions: There are many reunions in this movie, and enough amount sentiments associate with it. First, the father reunites with son, after 10 years resulting in son giving up his career for his father’s silly ambitions. Mother reunites with father for no reason at all!!
3. Masala #3 Item girls: There are two of them in the movie, unnecessarily wearing less than necessary clothing.
4. Masala #4 Realization: Gender Equality, Social Equality, Cricket ethics, work ethics… and other topic attended at philosophical level shot at each other and rest of the world making them realise that they were totally wrong. It is presented such a way that before release of this movie there were none of the above listed ideas practiced in our society.
5. Masala #5 Disguise: Biggest mistake!!! Everyone in the audience (including any retarded ones, if any) can see Rani is in disguise as a man, but no character in the movie could figure that out. For whole length of the movie Rani hides behind thin beard and a turban. Not a soul, including her teammates, captain, spectators, Pakistani visa department, border security and the even the doctor had a teeny tiny doubt!!!

But Shahid could finally find out it’s actually a babe, not a guy and do you know how? Her freaking left contact lenses falls off!!!! What a genius!!!

Lessons learnt: Yash Raj movies suck, always !

“Love Aaj Kal” is a very pleasant movie. This is one of the 5% Bollywood movies where director has common sense and actors can act.

Straight to the points, I liked these:

• Acting. There were no overacting !! All characters were good in their place. Saif was in his best, he is  better actor than Salman, Shah rukh and Akshay combined.
• Hats off to the director. He dint try too hard to communicate anything.
• There was nice sense of humour in the movie, even in emotional scenes and climaxes. All of those had quality, unlike Akshay’s jokes in his movie.
• Deepika was good. She looked hot , sexy and tall (taller than Rani and Preity combined )

I dint like these:

• Songs. Songs were OK, but i dint like them inserted in the movie. When are we getting rid of this practice ?

I read many reviews saying “plot is difficult to catch and confusing”. Well , that’s not true.. at all. This movie is no matrix, you will be able to catch is easily if you have ability to see beyond typical Bollywood Masalas.

I hope this movie is a big hit.

It was horrible, as expected. It dint make any sense at all , whole of it ! Every scene in the movie was utter madness. Its is generally told that “you need to leave your common sense behind before you watch Akshay Kumar movie“. But how long you can leave it behind ? First there was “singh is kinng” and there was “chandni.. china” stuff. Its almost six months since I left my common sense .. now can I have it back ?

To add to my irritation, crowd in London loved it !!! They were laughing their lungs out every time Akshay behaves like a buffoon or Kareena utters a bitchy dialogue. For example , there is this scene where people in a plane get confused for “Hi, Jack” as “Hijack”. The whole cinema went crazy and I looked like an idiot!! “seriously ..!!! for this used up pj??” Usually with this kind of crowd, one will definitely start doubting his own IQ. I survived since I have some experience in this area.

Back to the movie. Akshay Kumar looks handsome but what’s the point ? He acts like ‘Sid the Sloth’ , and not in a funny way. Kareena was not horrible in this movie. I ignored the presence of Aftab and other lady (Amrita I think), ignored for my good. Stalone, Denice and that superman dude were forceful insertion , they dont count (they actually did not count)

Big Minuses!
Obviously the director was not a bright guy, or he thinks we are not bright. Logic , general knowledge , IQ , math etc were severely hit filming this

• Kareena wears a hanging wrist watch (over the gloves) during the surgery ! and she leaves it in his stomach. Heard this anywhere ?
• Fun part is it can create enough sound for 100 sq m every hour through his stomach ! And batter does not die down till … end of time I suppose.
• Akshay Kumar locates a ring in Pacific Ocean !!! Jumps off the cruise ship in the middle of the ocean… there you go.. pin point !!! French government could have sent this dude when airbus crashed near Brazil. He would have found all victims in an hour … three times.
• Is there a stunt assistant award? How is it like? …like Spot boy awards?
• Doctors were more revealing clothes than anyone else in the movie , say a stripper. Or that’s the way director wants us to think about America.

There are somethings changed in Hindi movie , since I cared to observe

• There were open and direct references to sex (different kind). Too many of them
• All tabooed words are used (unusual for a hindi movie) F*, B*, Bi*, Ba* to name some.
• Number of songs reduced to three. Great news!

From three days I had severe head ache and cold. I accuse this movie for it. Well, it does not sound logical , but hey.. they are the ones who asked me to leave my logic behind!

I feel violated. I felt like I was a Guinea pig for a cruel physiological experiment, for which I dint even get paid. I should have learned from my mistakes, they dint pay for me for “watchmen” either. This is just another Hollywood crap I wasted my money on, like “watchmen”, “terminator” etc (Basically all action movies of 2009). So trust me, you are not going to get back 150 minutes of your life, which you lost watching this. Watch it only if your ticket is refundable!

Here are some spoilers for those who choose not to trust me , and gonna watch it anyway since first part was (said to be) good :

• You remember they told , coloured alien trucks are good guys and grey/black are bad guys ? well, that rule no longer applies for this sequel. Throughout the movie you will be thrown into a puzzle where you will be left wondering who is fighting who. There are coloured enemies and grey allies, and fights simply indistinguishable.
• There was also a rule that, aliens transform into trucks, cars etc. but this time it surprisingly transforms into a hot girl!! with skin, legs, tongue etc
• There is this wise and old alien who can fly, but to walk he needs walking stick!!!

Transformers 2 is lifted from Bollywood!!

Now i feel that, Hollywood directors are running out of ideas and have started picking them from Bollywood Masala formulas. In this movie for instance, has a lot of qualities you find similar to a Hindi movie for reasons like these :

• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a smart, cute , intelligent hero and hot heroin (though she is a car mechanic), a comedian (as usual guys room mate) , sentimental father and mother. There are some bad boys who are powerful , good guys who are powerful (but not when needed) , government and authorities who’s hands are tied by rules etc.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , this movie has a happy ending even though the fight is between human cockroaches  and mighty alien machines. Good guys win the battle even though only powerful ally remain dead till the end.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , our guy believes in one girlfriend. She replicates.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , it is painfully long.  150 minutes ! You could travel London to Paris in that duration, by train !
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is battle field sentimental discussion and debate between boy – girl , boy – father, boy – mother , mother – father  then finally girl and mother-in-law. Topic is simple Bollywood crap “Be careful…., i will wait my whole life time….. for you!”
• Just like a Bollywood movie , bad guys abduct boys parents !! This formula is so used up, I guess this movie is 20 millionth to use this formula.
• Just like a Bollywood movie , there is this girl who tries to seduce our guy when our girl pops in at same time and feels Jealous. Then they fight , good girl kills bad girl.

I am gonna add few more points here as and when I recall. When we have a strong case , lets sue that director.

Have you ever wondered who started copy culture in Bollywood movie Industry ?

There is Anu malik , there was bappi lahari, but who is before that. What, how and who used to copy songs for our favorite industry pre-bappi era ? Someone should really investigate this matter ( and blog it ), like bollycats are doing.

For the time being I present you one fossil evidence of same profession , which date PB era ( pre-buppi era).This song feat.s hysteric Shammi kapu and four monkyes dancing to a tune directly plagiarized from a Beatles song.

Yenjaay

and the orginal

Whenever they play music in my office (on weekends ), i recall “shawshank redemption”… does this happen to you too?

As expected there is already a campaign against sentence  (read Indian judicial system) on Sanjay Dutt. Campaign is purely based on all sentiments a normal movie lover can possess – Philosophy, religion, faith, sympathy, pity (read emotional blackmails)
For LOLing

And anyway who are we to punish some one for his mistakes … Just like Jesus Christ once said “Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone”

I have heard he breaks down and starts crying many a times when he cant see some one’s pain/suffering …

Here is one more opinion by Soli Sorabjee which looks more logical.

What nonsense .. bollywood should actually be boycotting this chap if they had any little feeling for the victims of the 1993 mumbai blasts. But given the fact that how these so called heroes of bollywood wag their tail in front of daewood’s shows, the way jokers like johny lever mimick Indian national anthem to please daewood, what else can we expect from them? – Sense vs Sensation

This is how FBI officers find out truth.

Robert: you swear to God
Eric: excuse me !!
Robert: swear to god that everything you just told me is true
Robert: No .. I am not gonna do that , I wouldnt lie …

This is another conversation between two FBI agents.

Robert : You know why the Soviet Union empire collapsed?
Eric : …….????Good morning?
Robert : I made a carrier studying them, they were smarter than us – more devious, more determined why did they fail ?
Eric : ..?
Robert : Godlessness. Atheism

Both conversation are from Breach - a movie based on real story.

Some facts about Rajanikant

• Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
• When Rajnikant does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
• Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

image : Jerry

• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
• If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
• James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Read complete list of facts here:

Imagine a situation where your boss gave you a day off. To spend time he gave you one boooring book (say Ayn rand ) and a stupid movie ( say some karan johar). Which one would you chose ?

That was just a question, for answers just look at these maps.

Books published, including school textbooks.  and boy !!! where is Africa ?

Movies watched, I am accountable for nearly half of this bulge

PS: Worldmapper is a collection of world maps, where territories are re-sized on each map according to the subject of interest.

When the movie ‘Pirates of Caribbean’ came to theatre here(I am a hardcore fab of Jonny Depp), I bought tickets, watched that crap, ate pop-corn and came back. I am also planning to watch Sreck 3. If I like it, I’ll applaud and write a blog entry. If not walk out in the middle of the movie and drive back home.
Watch a movie, laugh/cry, watch again/quit in middle then forget about it, that’s all… Life is to enjoy…so simple … I thought, So far.
Now, let me introduce some of Rajni’s fans, to whom watching movies is not as simple as it to me (buy tickets, eat popcorn etc). They cry, they laugh, they go hysteric, they get new hair cut, they get tattooed … pierced etc, etc.

Have a look at couple of extreme worshipers of Shivaji

I live in Chennai and life seems so different from last one week. Having Rajani movies in your town is not all that simple. This phenomenon is observed on such a large scale, the entire state seems mesmerized.

Here Prathibha Patil to be the next president of India is just another news but this news is not as important as ‘Shivaji’!

PETA PETA where are you ???

PS: PETA peta where are you… Picture has been removed, after friends requested to remove it

After writing about our beloved Gyapten sir, I just couldn’t help myself posting about one more universal warrior. He is one dedicated professional trained in samurai, karate, Judo, yoga, kalaripet, and bubo (whatever that means), has been pain in the ass of so many bad gangstas we have around in this cruel world. You people don’t realize the reasons you are alive. Anyways, come to the point. He is Balayya, James balayya.

There is confusion between we will call Gyapten as Tamil balayya or Balayya as Telugu Gyapten. I would like to keep them keep them separate without any comparison. They both are legends in their own ways.

Let’s start. First and foremost thing reason I worship him (and also the reason you are all alive) is because of this bomb diffusion (he did it for mankind). But unfortunately I did not get video for that. But not to worry, we have vivek. He has written that for us with the help of some of the photos.

Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna onto a chair…Those idiots didnt know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by a simple chair…

 

Here is our hero’s brother…The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach…The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls.. The shells triggered Balakrishna’s brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea…He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells…

Now, lets have a look at the time-bomb…The timer(presumably a pager covered in plastic) is ticking…See the weird buttons on the bomb??…The red button is the On-Off button!!…Now, this is the world’s first time-bomb with such a convenient on-off button…This is what I call a ‘User-friendly Time-bomb’…Very easy to handle…Can be used even by infants…

 

Look and behold!!..The shell flies like a bullet through the air…Credit goes to Balakrishna here…He has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet…He can be a good asset to the Indian army…The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the red button!!…The time-bomb gets switched off!!…Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!!…

 

Courtesy – Vivek

The next thing I wanted to show you ladies and gentlemen, Balayya’s ability to control over small things in the world. He does wonder like a prophet. Here in this situation Bad guys and Sonali Bendre are watching and Balayya is in fixed situation (I guess). Totally today’s assignment is to shoo those gangstas away. He just says “Jai chennakesava “and it echoes thrice (it had to). And he shows direction. Suddenly (with a Dhud sound) some bogies of the train get de-linked to the train and start moving, in the other direction. Till now it is considered to be the one of the biggest mysteries. Even David blain asks “ how the hell did he do that ?? “

The next thing I want to present is to show how much balayya loves kids. He is more kid loving than Neharu chacha. There is a situation where his daughter’s pet Rabbit has gone crazy and does rock climbing. Kids start crying, and is not satisfied with Balayya’s other tricks. So balayya had to so the magic he is famous for. He climbs the rock like a steady elephant. He leaps rock to rock like a pregnant eagle. If you want some similar situation to have a comparison, please recall the first scene of MI2, where tom cruise does rock climbing. I bet Balayya is much better than Tom -more energetic, Just for comparison I have mentioned. Have look and have fun.

The last but not the least, “andariki manchivadu” deenadaata, bhakta rakshaka balayya’s abilities in emergency situation. This video displays his abilities to move his Just_lessthan_a_quintal body in lightning speed. Situation is a band of gangsta done some stupid abduction of village beauties and taking them away in a Jeep. Balayya smells it from nowhere and prepares a bow and arrow instantly. Aims like arjuna and shoots it into woods, kills the driver. Now Balayya takes his own Mahindra ratha and jumps over that jeep. The rest of the things are spectacular, I bet you will love it. He moves so fast that all the bullets pass near body and never touches him. FYI Keanu reeves in the movie “the matrix” copied these moves.

That’s all from me now. I shall get back to you with some more universal soldiers. Your work is to watch it, and thank him for saving you from bad elements of this world.

Yen joy
B
PS: Thanks Vivek for Wonder with time bomb ( first miracle I posted here ) , both text and pictures

Technorati Tags: Balayya, balakrishna, telugu, movie, stunts, action

The story Ramayana* is his entire life journey starting from his innocent youth, his mastery over skills in winning Sita, his role as dutiful and obedient son to adhere to his father’s words while aware of the flagitious intensions of his step mother. He gives up all the worldly richness and sets away to spend 14 years in jungle. Sita being his wife accompanies him followed by Laxman, Ram’s younger brother.

They spend quite an adventurous and romantic** life in the forest. Sita finds her world in her husband Ram and experiences an unspelled love for him. Everything works fine when one day, Sita gets abducted by Ravana while Ram is away to fulfill one of her impossible wishes. Ram does everything possible to get back his love. He gathers a huge army, builds a bridge across an ocean, does all that he could. Finally, he succeeds to kill Ravana and gets her back. With this they complete 14 years of stay in jungle and they return to their kingdom after which they should have lived happily ever after.

But the story takes turmoil instead, Ram’s story ends here and Sita’s story begins. This happens when a subject of Ram’s kingdom whispers “how could Ram trust Sita, who been with Ravana for so long”. Ram wants a test now, Agni-Pareeksha – A test to check purity of a woman, by entering into fire. Exactly this part of the story becomes hard to digest. This is where so many questions arise and is left unanswered.

• Did it serve right for a person like Ram ‘the so called God’ to come down to such a cruel act?
• Is he setting example for all men or rather his followers to commit such an act?
• Or is he doing right by following well set example from his predecessors?
• Ram must have done justice to his kingdom? But why not to his wife? Had he really loved her he wouldn’t have banished her at such a crucial moment.

Did it serve her right to undergo another painful punishment after she had been a victim and had already suffered years of pain in the evil’s custody?

Why anywhere in the whole epic Sita does not have any views? Why didn’t she refuse when they were to leave for jungle (her sister Urmila does that)? Why didn’t she not ask back “why should I jump into fire?” “Don’t you trust me?”

We often come across people stating ‘Ram jaisa pati mila hai’. Can we really consider Ram as an ‘example for perfection’?

If these questions are answered they can be called as Sitayana. It should contain the entire possible thing Sita would have had in mind, but not presented in Ramayana. Nina Paley an Indian born professional animation moviemaker is releasing Santayana. She says:

“We never really know why Rama banishes Sita. Common interpretations resemble rationalizations and apologies: Rama “had to” abuse Sita to maintain the traditional order of his kingdom, in which the opinion of the lowliest man ranked higher than the life of any woman. As literature, Rama’s behavior towards Sita makes no sense…except it’s so realistic. It is the Ramayana’s ambiguities that make it so compelling.”

I strongly feel, movie is going to make some level of controversy and protest. If you are planning to participate, please make sure you have answers to all the questions Ms. Paley is asking.
Some clips of the movie have already reached youTube reservoir. I have posted two of them.

Sita in Love

Ram in Doubt

* Ramayana – the most popular mythological epic dwells around Ram –ninth incarnation of Lord Vishnu as believed by most of the Hindus. Ram is another name for a ‘perfect man’ and is symbolized for loyalty, respect, courage, justice and unbound love.

** Their romantic story in forest is only next best to Kalidasa’s Shakuntala. They sit watching “Kaumauda” near lake cheek to cheek whole night long with “rAtrirEva vyamsIt” (a great literary work in Sanskrit).

Technorati Tags: sita, seeta, seetayana, sitayana, rama, ramayana, ravana, feminism,

Technorati Tags: statue, sculpture, narasimha, temple, kanchi, kanchipuram, kanjivaram,

Ladies and Gentlemen:, this year Captain* Vijay Kant is back , with the same crap you have seen over and over again. In and as grandson of “Sabari” (“Sabari” “Sabari”…echoes).I present to you a wonderful piece of action where from the movie “sabari- the sharp knife”.

It goes like this : A bad guy shoots at Gyapten. The bullet rushes towards Gyapten with little less than speed of light. Bullet hits Gyapten’s chest and gets reflected. The best part … it kills the guy who shot him!!!!!!!!.

Here are some more from his previous blockbusters.

Scene 1

Gyapten Vijaykant is dressed like a band master (drummer to be specific) and is fighting with gangsters. On a particular punch his goggle launches itself into the mesosphere. It keeps orbiting there till he is finished with these bad guys. Finally it comes and plugs itself into proper place. Oooh!!! Look at smile of accomplishments on Gyapten’s face.

Scene 2

Gyapten is caught and tied to an electric chair. He is wearing a boxing helmet (something to do with conductivity). Bad guy has sparking live wire with him and Gyapten is helpless. Then comes the final truth: “when a normal man touchs current , he gets saak** , but I am Narasimha. Whan I touche current ….. current gets saak**” Bad guy does not listen to him , transformer burns into flames with fireworks and stuff.

Scene 3

This one is the best. Gyapten just needs to pluck a hair of his meesai, and a guy goes down. Guess he is a gay.

* – pronounced as Gyaapten

** – by saak , he meant “shock”

Technorati Tags: Captain, gyapten, vijaykant, tamil, movies, action

I can recall 500 movies now and this is my list in IMDB. I have selected my favorite among them here. Click on the images or the link to learn more about the movies.

• The movies roughly belong to those categories I have given below. Some of them are more than 10 and some of them less.
• Movies in are in no order inside the category, they are qualified to be called as my favorites. In other words I am feeling lazy to rearrange them
• Sequels and trilogies are shown as the first movie itself ( reason : lazy )

Technorati Tags: Favorite, movies, top, IMDB, action, horror, drama, romantic, history, psychic, horror, animation, comedy, English, Hollywood,

“Guru” dint impress me much. For me it was like just another movie of Maniratnam, which was Okay kind, definitely not among the bests by him. The movie is “different” and Maniratnam is a great director for the sole reason, they made Abhishek Bacchan “Act”.

Movie supposedly based on the life history of entrepreneur Dhirubhai Ambani, and his dreams coming true. I was wondering how Abhishek fit into Aambani’s personality, while he does not have any prior experience of acting (though he did appearance in plenty of movies). Thanks to Maniratnam against. Abhishek Bacchan has done exceptionally good performance. His dialogues, gestures, giggle; attitude, body language etc are very charismatic. He is behind movie success, neither Aishwarya nor Rehman. “Guru” is good name in his resume; rest all I consider as misadventures.

Ash, she was beautiful in the movie, unlike like Dhoom2 where she is announced to be “hot”. Heard she’s going to quit acting and follow Jaya Bacchan’s career – “housewife”. One thing for sure Abhishek is far far better person compared to Sallu the monkey (Salman Khan if you don’t get it)

Mithun Chakrabotry was good, great performance from him after a long time. Last movie of him I remember was “Suraj….!!! Truck driver Suraj!!!”. Madhavan and Vidya Balan were good and made a great couple.

Now my favorite part of the reviews- flaws,

All those million bloggers forgot to mention these. So I am posting this post, even though mine is coming last in the row

• Movie is a musical. It was highly unnecessary to make a movie with this story line, a musical. May be Maniratnam did not wants to miss A R Rehman in his crew. It wasn’t even “Rehman” brand music which was played.
• Abhishek Bacchan still needs come down from his father’s lap. In couple of scenes he sounds like his dad. But obviously it was better than “bluff master” where he copied his dad’s moves inch by inch.
• Mallika Sherawat. Yes she is a flaw in the movie. I don’t see any reason to insert an item song in the movie. How about couple of action sequences? They would have made the movie “complete”.
• Mahabalilpuram is walk-able distance from Gujarat and Mumbai. In the movie Every time someone in there feels like sing and dance they go to Mahabalilpuram… I also think these people dance for everything. There is song and dance inserted when Ash temporarily breaks with Abhishek. Again not to mention they go to Mahabalilpuram and dance to distribute their sadness.Ash likes to sing and dance in rain, the night before she is going to run away. Come on Maniratnam! Nobody do that! At least not in Mahabalilpuram remains
• Guru Bhai gets one to one bonus, when his wife delivers twins. Again Guru Bhai dances high with lot of bhang. (Oh no…! not again … Not again in Mahabalilpuram, please choose Madhurai instead) that song was awfully choreographed. Some “yayayyyeye …” like screenings are also there in the lyrics. Somebody who liked it… Please don’t help me recalling those lines.

Technorati Tags: maniratnam, regmaan, movie, revirew, guru, abhishek, bachchan, bacchan, aishwarya, rai, ash,

         I have my mind set against all Bollywood movies, which said to be shot abroad. Usually it turns out to be an over-aged college student (typically in his 30s or 40s) and his (variable entity) dancing on European footpath, with a dozen of half-naked European babes (strictly babes, no dudes). Location can be Swiss mountains with the same team dancing in Bollywood invented steps, holding mutkas (pots…. but why pots??). Movie usually has a plot of our heroes’ (ati-vinayi, parama-dayalu, sajjan) love story with heroin (sushil, soubhagyavati) and … hey you’ve seen them. I used to get vomiting sensation with all these karan johar, yash, ghai movies lately. 

           I would have missed an awesome movie, if the movie name was bit less attractive. “Kabul Express” is a rare movie. I think it is the only travelogue produced by Bollywood (if I am not wrong). I still can’t imagine a yash production finished movie without a “zara sa jhoom lon me … “in Afghani mountains, without any typical “Hindi Masala” or without any “item songs”. 

Why Kabul express is different?

• dialogues are written as natural as possible, Indian speaks Hindi/ Indian English , , American speaks English (US) , Pakistani speaks Urdu and Afghanis speak Afghani ( or pashtuni .. whatever it is ) with subtitle displayed. Typically in Indian movie whole world speaks Hindi /Tamil etc.
• No songs, no dance, Hero does not fight, heroin does not weep, Rakhi savant don’t strip etc etc so may differences.
• Excellent sense of humor (by arshad varsi.. I just love this guy). John Abraham is just OK in comparison with him (why this guy is still in industry?)
• Movie is bold. It shows/tells what actually happened (or might have happened) in Afghanistan and Pakistan politically and socially. Directors most of the time fear to present all the things they have in mind (fearing fatwa/censor)

What could have been better?

• Movie could have covered more shots of damage on general social life in Afghanistan.
• The encounter with a Talib is presented in light way. Talib argues for kapildev/imran khan etc. The character of Talib in the movie does not support strength of the name. It’s like “My funny encounter with a Talib”. Technically, it’s not a Talib they meet, a Pakistani agent instead. He is a moderate Taliban (moderate Talib …! what is that??). In the movie he does not represent all inhumane ideas of Taliban regime had, but represents politically true (i feel) Pakistani conspiracy.

Flaws .., I forgive them.

              Imran khan afridi (Talib in the movie) is undercover Pakistani agent in the movie, but was not able to ask “Can you drive this vehicle “in English. Please ignore this flaw, if it is true that Pakistan recruits officers who can not speak English (any Pakistani fellow bloggers  … please educate me on this)

Technorati Tags: kabul express, movie, india, bollywood, review, afghanistan, taliban, pakistan

These are my top ten favorite animation movies (actually 12).

1. Ice Age, Ice Age 2

2. Shreck, Shreck 2

3. Mulan

4. Bugs life

5. Antz

6. Finding Nemo

7. Chicken Run

8. Madagascar

9. Shark Tale

10. Monster Inc

I have watched these but did not qualify for my top ten:

101 Dalmatians, 102 Dalmatians, Garfield, The Lion King, Polar express, Jungle Book I and II, Anastasia,Dinosaurs, Cinderella, Tarzan I, II, Tarzan and Jane Robin Hood, The Incredible, Chicken Little, jimmy neuron, Final Fantasy

Yet to be watched: (planned for this weekend) Hanuman, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,South ark: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Some other place also : List of best

Technorati Tags: animation, movies, favorite, shreck, ice, age, top, ten, list

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Some time people make me feel I am lucky, for having ability to get biased against or for. Same thing happened when I heard of KANK

and five reasons why I dint see it.

1. Tried of watching king khan’s movie. He did the same LoverBoy_FallsInLove _SacrifisesHeroin_MakesHerCry kind of work in every recent movie lately. DDLJ, DTPH, Pardes, KKHH, KKKG, KHNH, MHN… and now KANK.

2. Karan Johar doesn’t really make movie for Indian audience. Makes for
   UK, US, AUS, SING. , And
   Fiji. Ask them; the life style supposed to be shown is may be familiar to them.

3. 3 Hrs 20 min is too precious and also 150 bucks. For this kind of movie.

4. Big B is too much around these days. Every time i see him on screen I think about the chocolate or ice cream he sells on TV. (I was watching a serious movie like “sarkar “, I dreamt. Next scene goanna be “Buy. Natraj pencils”

5. Last time when a five star movie came “kabhi khushi kabhi gum”, I had a terrible time. The headache lasted for two days.

6. These are some comments form my colleges (who are cribbing for having wasted 3 Hrs 20 Min. s and 150 Rs)

” They should put import duty on this movie.. It is not made for
India. We were made watching it ”

“… Govt needs to put 200 % non-entertainment tax on this…”

“Kya yaar… Yeh Movie bhi dekhni he paisa bhi bena he… Bahut Na insafi he …”,

“I don’t understand why he did that movie in Hindi. He could have done it in English and dubbed it giving English subtitle. Because nothing in the movie is Indian, culture, life style etc. Next expect a Karan Johar movie featuring African stories in Hindi”

Any ways… Here is a programmer’s review of the movie …(courtesy: Abraham)

A review of KANK from a Programmer’s perspective

1. The program *KANK* has not been built as per the Functionality Design Specifications (script).

2. The director should have first created a proper Design Document (screenplay) and then begun the actual coding.

3. *Amitabh Bachchan* is a powerful class with a number of methods and functions but it has not been effectively used.

4. *AbhishekBachchan,* a derived class of *AmitabhBachchan*, inherits all the attributes and properties of its parent class.

5. *ShahRukhKhan* and *RaniMukherjee* are emotionally overloaded and go into an infinite weeping loop every 60 milliseconds.

6. The methods such as *Songs ()* and *Cinematography ()* have been properly executed and produce fantastic results.

7. *PreityZinta* is an abstract class, which looks pretty but actually does nothing.

8. Functions like *ArjunRampal, JohnAbraham, and KajolDevgan pass NULL values and are
   redundant.

9. The program takes an unbearably long time to terminate? About 3 hours and 20 minutes.

10. Overall, the package is not worth purchasing. You may opt for pirated copies, though.ForwardSourceID

Technorati Tags: KANK, kabhi+to+alvida+kehena, hindi, movie, review, shah+rukh+khan, abhishek, bachchan, karan, johar

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