This is what happens when kids read holy books instead of history and geography. She says “My friend Sara is Indian and I learned about her culture and realized she needs to become christian, I wanna save her but right now its not looking so good .“

Learned about her culture ??? common you dont not even know the difference between India and Africa for crying out loud. It worries me that this kid who doesn’t even know what religion is, how notorious and stupid it is, is trying to convert some one for fun (or may be a school project)!

You know what kiddo, you tried with an Indian friend. Try it with a middle east kid next time and let us know how it worked out for you…

Happy Independence Day!

It was horrible, as expected. It dint make any sense at all , whole of it ! Every scene in the movie was utter madness. Its is generally told that “you need to leave your common sense behind before you watch Akshay Kumar movie“. But how long you can leave it behind ? First there was “singh is kinng” and there was “chandni.. china” stuff. Its almost six months since I left my common sense .. now can I have it back ?

To add to my irritation, crowd in London loved it !!! They were laughing their lungs out every time Akshay behaves like a buffoon or Kareena utters a bitchy dialogue. For example , there is this scene where people in a plane get confused for “Hi, Jack” as “Hijack”. The whole cinema went crazy and I looked like an idiot!! “seriously ..!!! for this used up pj??” Usually with this kind of crowd, one will definitely start doubting his own IQ. I survived since I have some experience in this area.

Back to the movie. Akshay Kumar looks handsome but what’s the point ? He acts like ‘Sid the Sloth’ , and not in a funny way. Kareena was not horrible in this movie. I ignored the presence of Aftab and other lady (Amrita I think), ignored for my good. Stalone, Denice and that superman dude were forceful insertion , they dont count (they actually did not count)

Big Minuses!
Obviously the director was not a bright guy, or he thinks we are not bright. Logic , general knowledge , IQ , math etc were severely hit filming this

• Kareena wears a hanging wrist watch (over the gloves) during the surgery ! and she leaves it in his stomach. Heard this anywhere ?
• Fun part is it can create enough sound for 100 sq m every hour through his stomach ! And batter does not die down till … end of time I suppose.
• Akshay Kumar locates a ring in Pacific Ocean !!! Jumps off the cruise ship in the middle of the ocean… there you go.. pin point !!! French government could have sent this dude when airbus crashed near Brazil. He would have found all victims in an hour … three times.
• Is there a stunt assistant award? How is it like? …like Spot boy awards?
• Doctors were more revealing clothes than anyone else in the movie , say a stripper. Or that’s the way director wants us to think about America.

There are somethings changed in Hindi movie , since I cared to observe

• There were open and direct references to sex (different kind). Too many of them
• All tabooed words are used (unusual for a hindi movie) F*, B*, Bi*, Ba* to name some.
• Number of songs reduced to three. Great news!

From three days I had severe head ache and cold. I accuse this movie for it. Well, it does not sound logical , but hey.. they are the ones who asked me to leave my logic behind!

This guy stole my thoughts

Indians are highly moral. Morality in India is everything to do with sex. Morality has nothing to do corruption, cheating, bribes, or dowries. Sex is bad. Hand-holding is bad. Discussing sex is bad. Kissing is bad. Indian families look down upon sex (though they happen to make so many babies). But then they sit as a whole family in front of a TV to watch soft porn on a daily basis. Body gyrations, pelvic thrusts, and other sexual innuendos are all lapped up. Newspapers like TOI bombard them with nude women on a daily basis. But sex is bad. And Indians are highly moral.

Please read Indians are highly moral

Have you ever wondered who started copy culture in Bollywood movie Industry ?

There is Anu malik , there was bappi lahari, but who is before that. What, how and who used to copy songs for our favorite industry pre-bappi era ? Someone should really investigate this matter ( and blog it ), like bollycats are doing.

For the time being I present you one fossil evidence of same profession , which date PB era ( pre-buppi era).This song feat.s hysteric Shammi kapu and four monkyes dancing to a tune directly plagiarized from a Beatles song.

Yenjaay

and the orginal

“…..Yunan Misr Ruma Sab Mit Gaye Jahan Sey.  Kuch baat hai ki Hastee Mit Tee nahin Humaree“

(Greek, Egyptian and roman vanished from this world, there must be something in us.. that …. We are still smiling…..)

I was seven eight then (some 20 years back ) , I used to wait for commercial breaks in between Ramayana or other Sunday entertainers , for this girl to come and say

“I loove you Rasnaaaaaaaaaaaa“.

I recall me telling my friends, “If my parents are OK ., I am gonna marry her” .

photos are picked from Meghna’s vintage indian advertisements

Here is one of the reasons “why you shouldn’t trust Indian media”:

The news was simple to understand “Taslima Nasrin heckled by God’s own warriors in one of the God’s own check post Hyderabad”. Just another event God wanted them to do.

I read all the news items in Google taking a cue from barberindian , for the same.

“Local politics behind attack on Taslima” – Hindustan Times
“Taslima Nasreen attacked in Hyderabad” – NDTV
“Taslima heckled in Hyderabad” – Economic Times
“Taslima heckled in Hyderabad” – The Statesman
“Taslima Nasreen, Poet, Attacked in India: Men Attack Her; Other …” – The Moderate Voice
“Assault on Taslima Nasreen” – Central Chronicle
“Taslima Attacked In Hyderabad, Journalists Protest” – Newspost
“Taslima Nasreen attacked in Hyderabad” – Zee news
“Andhra MLAs, 20 MIM activists manhandle Taslima Nasreen” – Daily news

and our own Desicritics:

“Taslima Nasreen Attacked by MLAs in Hyderabad” – Desicritics

If you want news items from international media

“Muslim Protesters Attack Bangladeshi Author in India” – Voice of America
“Muslim group in India threatens to behead Bangladeshi author” – EarthTimes

See any difference ? If you still dint get it, read any Indian news item on this topic. It will be written “Taslima a renowned writer from Bangladesh… blah blah was allegedly heckled by people belonging to one community.. “

Morals of the story :

• Indian media does not give you news, they give rumours and gossips.
• No one including left, right, middle, women rights organizations , secularists, online petition makers; I_dont_have_to_work_to_do people ( Shabana Ajmi , Arundati Roy ) etc etc., seems to be bothered by this. This is secularism
• Taslima or Dalai lama, welcome to India, we give you freedom to breath and eat dal-chaval. If you do anything more you will be allegedly beaten to death!
  

update:

Hyderabad, August 11: The Hyderabad police have registered a case against controversial Bangladeshi writer Taslima Nasreen, who was recently attacked by workers of Majlis Ittehadul Muslimeen (MIM) in Hyderabad, for allegedly creating ill-feeling among communities.

Moral of the this story : “Ulta chor kotwal ko date “

       Some time back Srik asked me “Whats the difference between a Kerala communist and other communists? Well, Kerala communism is a philosophy by itself. It is “take policies as time changes and completely forget where they started”. In my opinion it is a complete hypocrisy. Infact, communism in India has lost its meaning. If Karl Marks was alive today, he would have definitely taken rat poison.
      For example, there was “Anti Coke Pepsi” campaign few months back. Kerala assembly discussed it for length and finally decided to ban those products. Next day none of the college campuses had Coke and Pepsi but Sprite, Seven-up, Mirinda, Fanta …were available. A curious journalist asked one of the ministers “Why two products alone, why not ban all the products which are proved to have chemicals”. Minister happily said, “Oops … In assembly we did not discuss other drinks at all … he he”.
Another instance is where they have done blunder in their party name itself (my previous post).

Coming to the point of me being called a Kerala communist when I was a kid, was because of the way I used to argue. Here is an instance I remember –

“Hey mom, Bro is eating curd”
“So???”
“Why am I was not served curd for lunch”
“Alright … take how much ever you want”
“Gee..!! You know I don’t eat curd”
“I know that … that is why I did not serve you”
“But why did you give it to him, all are equal isn’t it”
“You don’t eat, I did not give it to you. Your brother eats, so he is eating”
“There is no equality in this house, if all are equal how come some are served more??”
Soon after my statement there was political oppression on me.
Now when I look back, I feel it’s kinda cute. Thatz me!!!

If you want to know where you fall in the political map, here is a political compass. Answer all the questions and find what political nature you have.

I am slightly authoritarian and neo-liberal (Oops … against Gandhi?).

Technorati Tags: political, compass, gandhi, hitler, views, facism, left, kerala, india

Some facts about Rajanikant

• Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
• When Rajnikant does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
• Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

image : Jerry

• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
• If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
• James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Read complete list of facts here:

Imagine a situation where your boss gave you a day off. To spend time he gave you one boooring book (say Ayn rand ) and a stupid movie ( say some karan johar). Which one would you chose ?

That was just a question, for answers just look at these maps.

Books published, including school textbooks.  and boy !!! where is Africa ?

Movies watched, I am accountable for nearly half of this bulge

PS: Worldmapper is a collection of world maps, where territories are re-sized on each map according to the subject of interest.

When was the last time you exclaimed “Oh my god” in public ? and which god was it ? You don’t now ?? well , you better know it. Some one might sit on your neck and prove your exclaim is very offensive to him. Also it would be politically and theologically incorrect and big time violation of his rule he has read.

Here is a guys who went on proving the same stuff all over again. To mention some:

1. God came and told me “I am god. If any other gods come and claim that they are also gods, its wrong. please note down there is no god other than me”. Now there if there are any , that is a violation.

2. God said that he doesn’t have a face , if any other gods claim to have face thats again violation, since my god said so.

so on , you ll find many such logical reasoning in this video.

This directly from senate. Someone’s god gets offended while Rajan Zed wanted pray for his God.

Technorati Tags: rajan, zed, hindu, prayer, senate, Christian, god, religion, commandments, disrupt, extremists

The results are out, and Taj Mahal has passed the exam. Here is my contribution.

It was very stupid of them to have a voting system for selecting wonders. Don’t they know India and China constitute most of world’s population ? We just vote for anything that is ours. Look at the other wonders., Taj’s not worth there.

You can easily guess what will be world wonders coming years. Taj Mahal, Marina Beach, Thirupathi Temple… so on.

PS: In an TV road interview it was asked “what will be the next (this time) world wonders?”. One of the answer was “Taj mahal.. ann..hmm.. Minakshi Temple.. hmm .. then … Marina Beach ??”.

For reasons for “NOT FOR PRESIDENT”,  follow the links in this post

I don’t want a President, who talks to ghosts and dead people.

I will be very irritated if she does not answer this :

She claims that she is talking to dead people. She claims to have been advised by her long-dead guru (Dada Lekhraj who founded Brahma Kumari sect) through the body of head of Brahma Kumaris World Spritual University, Hridaymohini, also popularly known as ‘dadiji.’ WTF! I know that this Brahmakumari sect is one huge scam and has seriously affected the lives of people. To find that our Presidential nominee is not just a mere follower of this cult but also claims to have supernatural conversations with the dead in the 21st century is astounding. -                  Patrix

[via ]

[via]

Technorati Tags: racism, truthministry, conversion

To my dear future wife,

I don’t care how do you look. I don’t give a damn about how much do you weigh. These are all immaterial in a proper Indian arranged marriage/remarriage ( with Indian culture incorporated in it). What i am asking is you to follow proper culture and customs – which is the same tradition which we celebrated from years.

If you still dint understand, forward this to your dad. tell him these are the things he needs to take care.

• I am a post graduate in a world class institute and currently working in a reputed multinational. My current market rate is min of 25 Lack rupees. Just for you i am relaxing the rates. Let be in dollars and just 22 Lacks.

• I don’t like two wheelers, they are unsafe and inefficient with me and you ( two hundred KGs ) on it. Ask your dad Ford. (By ask i mean insist )

• I estimate you can always carry minimum of 5 to 6 kg of gold. its just for a day ( the day you are getting married ). (Please refer the example picture ) Later I shall decide what to do with it. I am a good investor , and I bet the best in horse race.

• I would like to have ( need ) a grand party for me and my friends. We take “teacher’s” and “Vat69″. See i am making it cheaper, I dint ask for Jack Danial’s

• There are several other requests , I shall let you know as and when it comes to my mind. But beware I have five Lt of kerosene ready, I wont hesitate to use it as all Indian cultured dudes have done.

Example: This is picture to illustrate how much dowry you can bring to me. After looking at this I felt I should be following Indian culture of taking dowry and throwing all ethics to a pit. good luck.

News : “New Gold mine found in India”

Technorati Tags: India, marriage, dowry, gold

When the movie ‘Pirates of Caribbean’ came to theatre here(I am a hardcore fab of Jonny Depp), I bought tickets, watched that crap, ate pop-corn and came back. I am also planning to watch Sreck 3. If I like it, I’ll applaud and write a blog entry. If not walk out in the middle of the movie and drive back home.
Watch a movie, laugh/cry, watch again/quit in middle then forget about it, that’s all… Life is to enjoy…so simple … I thought, So far.
Now, let me introduce some of Rajni’s fans, to whom watching movies is not as simple as it to me (buy tickets, eat popcorn etc). They cry, they laugh, they go hysteric, they get new hair cut, they get tattooed … pierced etc, etc.

Have a look at couple of extreme worshipers of Shivaji

I live in Chennai and life seems so different from last one week. Having Rajani movies in your town is not all that simple. This phenomenon is observed on such a large scale, the entire state seems mesmerized.

Here Prathibha Patil to be the next president of India is just another news but this news is not as important as ‘Shivaji’!

PETA PETA where are you ???

PS: PETA peta where are you… Picture has been removed, after friends requested to remove it

Dear Domino’s and Subway,
Congratulations on loosing one more customer. Thanks for all the wrong deliveries you have done to me. I took long time before I settle down, after trying chapathis of pizza corner, paranthas and pizza hut and vada pav of Marry brown. It was taste and quality that made me keep ordering you. But now, it looks like you misplaced recipe.

Its too late now, I am tired. You both together lost around 1500 Rs business per week. There are some things I want to ask (and shout).

• I repeatedly telling Jalapeño am my favorite. When I say I need more Jalapeño on subway and extra Jalapeño topping on my pizza, I mean “I NEED ““EXTRA” of them. I did not find a single piece of it. Do you know English?
• If you haven’t put Jalapeño, please tell me you haven’t. “It’s embedded inside the pizza”, “it’s in the form of pizza” etc are simply not acceptable. Your delivery boys think I am and lallu-pappu is it?
• When I say “one” it is “one”, when I say “two” I really mean I need “two”. Please don’t send one coke less and argue that is what I ordered. I know my orders and you billed it. Your apologies don’t fill my stomach.
• Please do not display that Paresh Rawal ad “30 min, else pizza free”. I was just wondering how many people you have fooled already.
• When I want a sub, I need Italian vegetables in it, a pizza should have all the things it is written in pamphlets, and garlic bread should have garlic paste on it. These are all for your information. I strongly believe you have misplaced recipe.
• Call your head office and confirm, are you really authorized to customize pizzas and subs based on local food. Only cabbage, tomato and cucumber will make it look like veg sandwich. I dint order for that and I am not willing to pay that amount you have written.
• If you don’t have small and medium pizzas, you supply only large ones, please close your shop for the day.

That’s all for now. Good bye. Find some other person and fool him, I am done.

Technorati Tags: Jalapeño, dominos, pizza, subway, Chennai

Wheel chair is available with station master. If you need one crawl all the way to his office and get it.

It’s obvious that everyone is concerned about global warming, specially when there is a camera looking at them. Anyone can answer “basically I am very very much concerned, thanks for this opportunity for being a part of this survey, actually …. Thank you one and all “ etc etc. One of such useless time pass survey says:

“Indians cared most about carbon emissions, with 55 per cent describing themselves as “very concerned” about the issue while just 32 per cent of Britons felt the same way”

If you are confused I would suggest ROFL

Instead of making that survey a complete failure, they could have asked a different set of questions and made it funny

I) Are you concerned about global warming?a) Very much concerned b) somewhat concerned d) not concerned

II) If a) please tell us what is global warming.