Ten ways to stop telemarketing calls

This is a very very useful list of ways to deal with telemarketing agents. Irritate them by returning the favor. I have added some points based on my experiences. Have fun, learn and adopt, you will have peaceful life.

  1.  After the telemarketer finishes speaking ask what he/she is doing this weekend. Don’t worry about other side is he/she; just ask him/her out. And finally ask him/her to marry you

  2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

  3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. Mimicking you played with siblings when you were young pay off here.

  4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

  5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child. Ask your child to sing nursery rhymes

  6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder…louder…louder!

  7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

  8. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these  problems…………”   

  9. Cry out in surprise, “Helen, is that you? I’ve been hoping you’d call! How is the family?” When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.      

  10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. – And give him the ICICI call center number. 

Yenjoye

b

 Update 06June:

We got a good news just after a day I posted this. Feel free to thank me… then I’ll say “its okay”

Trai slaps Rs 500 fine on unsolicited calls

The Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (Trai) has decided to levy a fine of Rs 500 per unsolicited call or SMS. Further, the telemarketer could also face disconnection of services as per the regulation rolled out by Trai.Trai has also mandated the National Informatics Centre (NIC) to set up a national do not call (NDNC) registry in three months time. It has also sought the help of the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) and the Indian Banks’ Association (IBA) to ensure that telemarketers are engaged after registering with the Department of Telecommunications (DoT).

19 Responses to “Ten ways to stop telemarketing calls”


  1. 1 rk June 5, 2007 at 5:02 am

    rofl! hilarious ideas. you made my day, bach. thanks.

  2. 2 goofysaint June 5, 2007 at 6:25 am

    Man!!!
    You’ve been truly harrased it seems!

    I loved the 6th and 9th one…surely going to try that someday!!!

  3. 3 destinationsrik June 5, 2007 at 6:54 am

    This is a wonderful list!

    The sadistic points 8 and 9 are worth a try.

  4. 4 Vani June 5, 2007 at 11:33 am

    I loved No. 3 & No.10 most….super ones…..

    Few of my ideas:

    You can also start off “hello…I can hear you” at every sentence….

    Talk to them about your arthritis….

    Talk like an answering machine…tell them to leave a message at the beep and inform them that they will be charged for every second they keep the phone engaged.

  5. 5 bachodi June 6, 2007 at 4:00 am

    @RK
    Thanks. Not all of them are mine.

    @goofysaint
    Welcome to my blog.
    Yes . I went through lot of harassment. On and average 4 calls a day, they torture me in installment basis.

    @Srik ,
    Feel free to try them. That’s why I wrote “to return the favor”.

    @Vani ,
    Thanks. Thanks for new additions. I guess I need to make then top twenty something

  6. 7 Suresh Gundappa June 6, 2007 at 8:29 pm

    Really hilarious and I happen to read it While attending a boring seminar. I laughed so hard that I had to kick myself out of seminar!

    Thanks for sharing

  7. 8 gmohanprakash June 8, 2007 at 10:16 am

    Hey the 10th one is worth golden peacock award man!!
    cheers
    mohan!

  8. 9 neela June 9, 2007 at 11:35 am

    too good!!

    One can also act as if you are in a cross-connected connection and bombard the person as to why the gas cylinder booked ten days ago is yet to make an appearance / complain as if to your friend about nuts from the said bank wooing you…

  9. 10 bachodi June 24, 2007 at 2:05 am

    @Mysorean,
    Dhanyavadagalu .. Nandri.

    @suresh,
    Sir, its my pleasure.
    Till recently you dint post your face in internet. You look handsome.

    @mohan,
    Thanks , but what is golden peacock ? Kingrooster award is enough for me.

    @neel
    wonderful. A new idea came to me. For such a call ” bhehen !!! where are you ? your mother is so much worried!!! ” etc . Not a great one but might work ;-)

  10. 11 Lauren July 4, 2007 at 3:18 am

    haha.
    I just googled for some ways to stop telelmarketing calls, and this came up. I really love numbers 1,3,7,8,9. Haha. I am going to try them all asap. I think that is the first time I’ve actually WANTED them to call ;D

    Thanks so much!

  11. 12 exsmoker July 27, 2007 at 11:54 am

    Hello Everyone,
    My wife was finally able to kick the habit before she got pregnant with our now first born beautiful baby gilr, so I tought I’ll share the resource that she has used to help her quit the smoking habit with as many people as I can.
    She was a heavy smoker for about ten years and just a couple of weeks after finding out about the program that I have researched online, she was able to quit smoking permanently and now can’t stop telling people about how she had kicked the habit for good.
    Anyway if you want to check it out, here is the site that my wife has used to help her quit smoking; http://endthehabitnow.com

  12. 13 prax July 29, 2007 at 9:01 am

    this is some good shit!
    simply hilarious

  13. 14 Neethu Diya July 29, 2007 at 10:22 pm

    Hey Prashanth!

    Nice blog you got here, especially the telecall avoiding techniques are great… I don’t have a 5yr old, but I’m gonna give each other one a try. Living in Canada, 80% of my phone calls are from various call centres in Bangalore. Each one wants to sell me either credit cards or insurance or phone plans..
    Lets see how these methods go.
    Thanks
    Neethu

  14. 15 Pradeep August 7, 2007 at 2:44 pm

    LOL Bach…gr8 post…worth a try…I used to do a few tricks earlier, now I just store the numbers on my phone under “Rubbish”…

    I did play a 20 second porno heaving moaning a few times…and the callers ( no price for guessing) listened to the entire bit and then hung up when I said “hey…”

    Also I keep getting a calls from plush hotels in Bangalore offering a free meal for the entire family…would you like to take up the offer…dunno what thy would try to sell you after the meal…lol.

  15. 16 TiDeS August 8, 2007 at 10:06 am

    hahaha… I could not stop laughing… This is really hilarious…

  16. 17 exsmoker September 26, 2007 at 8:08 am

    Hello All,

    I was reading around some of the posts here and I found interesting things that you guys talk about, I just made a blog about quitting smoking resources and ideas that you might want to check out.
    If someone is interested in this topic just go to; http://endthehabitnow.blogspot.com and let me know what you think.
    Thanks in advance.

  17. 19 Keely July 13, 2009 at 12:13 am

    Hehe. U r 2 funny. I’m so going to try those all out! I can’t wait to get some calls. I thought I was going to go CRAZY! I hope these work!

    LOL! Funny stuff!


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